Silhouette
by Perfect Image
Summary: The nine lives of a Shadow -- from the smudge of darkness to the overpowering light and back again. A rewritten history. -Roxas - AU-
1. Sky Shadow

**Silhouette**

_**The Nine Lives of a Shadow**_

_By Perfect Image_

_Eleven to Twenty_

_Tick, tick, Boom--_

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_- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-_

_~English Proverb~_

_::Chapter One::_

_Ages Eleven to Twelve_

_Sky Shadow_

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They were twins, and for the first times in their life, they weren't. Roxas was Roxas and Sora was Sora and if someone called them Sora and Roxas or Roxas and Sora someone was going to die.

The two boys (for they were not _them _or _they_ or _the twins_ any longer – at least, not aloud) still shared the same room, the same television set with the slightly dusty screen and the same two beds pushed together for sympathetic cuddles whenever one had a bad nightmare (for the two boys were not adults no matter how much they whined that they were).

However, Roxas was now skateboarding while Sora spent most of his time divided between video games and his two best friends. Roxas cared more for fighting than Sora did, but they both still got into playful scuffles – both with each other and other people. And, and – Roxas was into wandering while Sora stayed close at home, with friends, with family, with his security blanket. And they became so totally very different people when Roxas heard them: the whispers.

Roxas wanted to know what those whispers meant: sweet and silky, sharp and edged, panicked and dripping with blood yet to be spilled. Sora cared only when Riku, his best friend longer than Kairi, moved beyond their border of happiness, past the pristine brick wall (that was really metal made to look like brick from far away) that surrounded the city, past the guards with their shiny red bandanas wrapped around their heads like crowns pushed down too tight.

Then both Sora and Roxas wanted to go, so badly. Sora, to visit his friend. Roxas, to find the truth hidden behind those ugly steel sheets painted over to look whiteeggwhite. And they were denied, which was good because otherwise the story would be over and there would be no Shadow or Raven or uncovered truths and fallen tears. The end would be boring then.

Their parents knew though, their grandparents knew, and the rest of their family over the age of fifteen (for that was the magic number, you see) knew. Better to punish them and therefore protect them now rather than see their guts splattered across the ground with hearts torn out of mutilated bodies broken far too soon and bloodbloodblood…

-----

After that, things returned to normal. Roxas actually joined Sora's group of friends, bringing with him Hayner, Pence, Olette – friends from the skate park – and Sora would be lying if he said that didn't help with his loss of Riku. But Kairi was there, and Kairi made it all better in the end – as did the arrival of the twins' uncle's wife's children.

Their names were Namine and Cloud, and Namine was the same age as Roxas and Sora but Cloud was older, yet everything was ok because the school they went to housed every age from five to eighteen so the fourteen-year-old that was Cloud stayed with them until he found friends of his own. Then the twin boys were a part of a group and it was a good group, as Sora said, because they were the perfect mixture of creativity and intellect and physical fitness and humor and weirdness and seriousness and everything that made the world appear bright and beautiful instead of muted and dull and nothing.

And, as Namine (for she thought in ways that even solemn Roxas couldn't) stated halfway through that year, it was like they were all one person and Sora was the heart and Roxas was the silhouette that kept all of them together in one tight-knit bunch with no danger of the insides rushing out and being lost. Sora said this was so and Hayner made such a strange face as he seconded Sora's opinion that the group burst out laughing and nothing more was said of Namine's comparison.

Roxas wouldn't even look back upon that time later on when he could only survive on memories because that moment wasn't a memory but the day he became something other than Roxas and it was glorious and beautiful and he'd be lying if he said such a thing didn't affect him later when everything was so fucking fucked up one couldn't even laugh at how the young man hissed it but rather nod in somber agreement because like hell someone was going to disagree with someone that could destroy anyone and feel no pain and only duty.

Roxas took this new role and fitted himself into it, no longer mischievous and willful but wise beyond his years with his boring qualities (so said the eleven-year-old Sora that was really only a child still) heightened to the point that suddenly the world was dirty and disgusting in certain patches but the rest was still like a butterfly's wings. And neither of the twins knew that such a simile would ever ring with such horrid truth but it did and at the time both were still too new and deaf to the obscenities that weren't but should have been to hear such things. They didn't know their world was only sparkles and light sliding through tinted plastic that wasn't plastic, was too fragile and easy to snap to be plastic, and they didn't know that when holes tore through that world that some human qualities would still remain like dust smudged into the creases of skin and between the cells, being absorbed into the skin to hide until the light shone again and picked up the reflecting shards that had once been parts of a butterfly wing.

-----

Roxas was watching television in the den that was actually just a room with only three walls and a giant square of empty space where the fourth should have been when Sora came in. And Sora didn't say anything which made the blonde suspicious simply because Sora was the sky and Roxas was Sora with an 'X' stuck in the middle because he hadn't been planned but a girl had been and she would have been some stupid name like Rain just to make it fit with the legend of the phoenix and the dragon and long-lost lovers ready to meet in the next life and be together even if in some parts of the city it was a sin. So Roxas set the remote down after pressing the _mute_ button so hard the pad of his thumb was the color of flushed heat, and he turned to face his older twin fully (because it was then that he acknowledged that Sora was older, would always be older – never stopping to think that the clock might just _stop_).

But Sora didn't say anything still and Roxas lifted up his beating thumb to his mouth and took the soft skin between his teeth with brow furrowing as he watched his brother focus on the television set for a moment before reaching toward the remote with hand hanging in midair until Roxas picked it up and passed it to the brunet. And Sora fiddled with it for a moment before pecking two of the numbers and setting it to the news station. Then Roxas paled and Sora felt the bile rise in his throat once more as what he had seen just moments before came into sight once more.

There was the wall that blotted out the bad things and kept the inhabitants of the city that had no name and was merely called the City safe and cozy with no idea of what lay beyond. Here was the gaping hole, swarming with red-headed soldiers that looked more like ants than anything else. Everywhere else was carnage. Located directly across from the gate Riku had gone through, this part of the wall was most likely to be broken if _they _were made angry. There was proof of their wrath wherever the camera swooped. Smoking buildings and corpses lay untouched except for the giant hole where their hearts should have been. Those bodies would be burned, though, and memories of that horrific time would fade.

However, for now, the sight was like a sucker punch in Roxas's stomach, and his insides churned sickeningly. The woman on the screen showcasing the most terrible scenes was guarded by hounds of a kind Roxas had never seen before, but he knew they weren't right. If a giant cat mixed with the leanest of wolves this might be the result; Roxas averted his eyes when some light was shined directly on one of the hounds that wasn't a hound as one of the bandana-heads passed by, combing the area once more for survivors or clues. He still saw the pools of blood red disturbed by a tiny dot of black right in the center, strangely human and utterly unnatural eyes.

Sora stumbled out of the room, leaving Roxas to curl up on the carpeted floor and shove his face against the thick material, hiding his revulsion and struggling to control the urge to puke. Somehow, the remote had ended up falling facedown when Sora abandoned it to tear out of the room and the volume was now on full-blast.

"This morning, around nine o'clock, a group entered the wall through its weakest point, coming in and killing all who saw them. It is unclear what their reasons were for doing such a thing, and officials are still searching for clues. Currently, the eastern side of the city is closed from all civilians though, and all those in Sector Six are presumed dead. All relations are directed to head to the city hall where bodies will be housed until the end of the month, at which time they will be burned whether someone has claimed them or not. "

When his parents found him, Roxas was still facedown on the floor, scrunched up into a little ball and laughing weakly, keening in such a way that it came out as twisted chuckles. And Sora wasn't much better off, huddled in the boys' room with all the pillows surrounding him and whimpering weakly in such a way that he seemed to be sobbing but his eyes weren't red and the only liquid was blood dried upon his lips from where he had bitten them until they bled metallic red. Neither of the twins wished to eat that night and school was out of the question. Therapy came up but their rather conservative grandparents felt that seeking an outsider's help was foolish and dangerous so both were sent to bed and no therapist visits were planned.

Whenever Roxas looked back on the past afterwards, he wondered if things might have been different if there had been therapy. But then he remembered that what happened afterward would have driven anyone to insanity and madness of the worst kind to where you're seeing things that were never there and hearing things that never existed and feeling blood boil inside your veins that was never yours and the world is a giant weaving of blackness and tiny pinpricks of light unless you're in Hell. Because, in Hell, the only place you can go is up while trapped in that cage of earth and gravity and heat you can fall or rise or simply disappear.

-----

In December of 3012 on a plane that might have once been planet Earth Sora and Roxas were scheduled to turn twelve. However, they still had three more months to go. And the city that was simply called the City was now beginning to enter winter since fall was short and the seasons were measured by temperatures. Snow was falling and that meant winter and that was how it had been done for over three centuries so like hell someone was going to be a jackass and try to change that now.

Winter meant for the boys what summer means for those that love the beach. Snow was coming and one day in October the flakes started falling while Sora and Roxas were walking home from school and Sora fell down in the grass that was soon going to be covered by whiteness and laughed. It was a desperate laugh because life at school was more subdued since Olette's family had been a part of Sector Six, and they were all dead and burned and gone. She herself was lucky to have spent the day at Kairi's house so she had only seen their faces when it came to identifying them. She now lived with Namine and Cloud's mother and stepfather as an adoptive child; this meant she was also a part of Sora and Roxas's family which greatly thrilled Sora.

Roxas stared down at his older brother with something akin to pity before forcing a laugh from his throat as well and also falling to the ground. There they stayed until the large flakes were thick upon the ground and the sun was dying a violet-red death and their breath came out in such large puffs of transparent gray that soon the two were breathing just to see which could make a larger cloud.

That was the first time Roxas ever saw a Shadow. It was out of the corner of his eye, and he never saw that same Shadow again. But he learned of her name, tracked her down only to learn she was dead. A lithe gray shape the color of ashes from a multiple of cremations with blood splattered across her blunt muzzle and the body of a great cat. She had been a Scout and it wasn't until near the end that Roxas learned she had also been a traitor. That blood had been from her more humane kin, the ones that had not yet bled blue. But, she stopped and observed him with the sightless eyes of one without hope or want. Then, gravely, for she had never known kindness beyond the wall, she bowed her head to him and continued on when he turned to watch her fully – only to see actual shadow where there had once been a Shadow.

It was only when Sora called to him, soft and as tentative as any prey animal, was it that Roxas returned to what he was doing – packing up his various school supplies that had been abandoned in the futile attempt to escape the tension that had been coiling tighter than a bowstring ever since the massacre of the sixth sector.

And Sora would be a damned liar if he hadn't admitted later on that he was frightened in that moment, for he had seen something animalistic and sickening in Roxas's eyes before the mist had dispersed and he was actually Roxas again. Maybe, if Sora had said that the creature was a Shadow – because he had heard of them the day of the massacre because it had been Sunday and Roxas was boring and didn't want to go out but Sora did and went by himself – things might have been different and there might not be a scar on Roxas's chest from where his heart had nearly been torn out. But the other scar would still be there and the tombstone would stay there because not even the words of one's brother can change the world when everything starts crashing down and going to seed in the worst possible way.

-----

On their birthday, the boys turned twelve and both were gifted with material items that didn't mean that much and much more priceless things that couldn't be held but merely felt. Sora received a kiss from Kairi and Roxas was almost given the same by Namine. Except, Roxas was upset that Sora had drifted so far away from him that he would actively participate in such an act and he told the brunet so later on that night after the party turned sour and Namine went home in tears.

The boys might have come to an actual fight if Cloud hadn't arrived at the door then and said in such a tone that made Sora step away and made Roxas step forward that the other blonde was needed outside for a moment if that wouldn't be too much trouble.

They ended up wandering away from the house but it didn't matter since Cloud was fifteen and Roxas was twelve and therefore one step closer to adulthood. At first, they stayed on the main roads, avoiding the few cars that were out driving in the otherwise slumbering neighborhood. Then, with narrowed eyes, Cloud motioned for Roxas to follow him down a side road and Roxas couldn't remember what was said but he did remember what Cloud said when they returned to Roxas's house. "Don't let the darkness take your soul. In the end, it doesn't matter if your heart beats or not so long as you have your soul."

Because Cloud was old enough and now knew of the City's outskirts and the secrets that lay slumbering in the darkest parts of the world that currently filled Roxas's consciousness. But he didn't tell Roxas about it and blamed himself later on when he first saw the tombstone. That didn't stop him from committing atrocious sins. Of course, Roxas wouldn't be aware of those sins until the end and when compared to his owns they weren't even that bad so Roxas forgave him. After all, those swamped in darkness will look for others similar to them in order to alleviate some of their pain and suffering by casting it onto the other person.

At three-o-two in the morning on the day of December twenty-first Roxas blew out his twelve candles and inhaled the smoke.

_Happy Birthday – Roxas, Sora._

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**Perfect Image**: A new story, a new alternate universe. There will be pairings, but don't expect Roxas to actually end up with anyone. This is more of a tragedy and character exploration than actual romance. There will be nine chapters in this story and some will be short while others will be long – it's quality, not quantity. Please note that there will be some character death in this as well as disturbing imagery. If at anytime you find yourself uncomfortable with this story, please click the little _X_ in the upper right-hand corner. I am not forcing you to read this. Reviews are nice but not necessary. Please enjoy the story.

**Disclaimer:** No characters from Kingdom Hearts are considered mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.


	2. Like Glass

**Silhouette**

_**The Nine Lives of a Shadow**_

_By Perfect Image_

_Eleven to Twenty_

_Tick, tick, Boom--_

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_- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-_

_~English Proverb~_

_::Chapter Two::_

_Ages Twelve to Thirteen_

_Like Glass_

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Roxas had been Roxas for one year and he had discovered that being one person was hard. But hey, at least he still had his brother at that point. What so often drove people to madness was the loss of that connection with the outside world and Roxas wouldn't even call himself insane until later when he heard a voice that he knew he would never hear again – so maybe those that were mad were just trying to stay sane and were appearing mad in the process. At least, that's what Roxas thought after, when it was all over and there was only another shadow for company.

However, things were bad with Namine to the point that Sora actually had to coax Roxas to come to school which was bad since it was normally Sora that was pleading mercy when it came to the attendance of school. Except that Roxas wasn't pleading mercy; he simply wasn't coming out of his room. His new room was across the hall from Sora's because his parents were worried he might feel incestuous toward his brother and that was stupid; Roxas just didn't want a girlfriend taking away his time with Sora and besides Kairi was too young to date Sora and act responsibly because obviously the brunet wasn't even close to acting his appropriate age.

Roxas confessed this to Sora later when they were sitting on a swing set in a tiny playground surrounded mostly by hedges stripped of leaves skipping school like the juvenile delinquents they _weren't, _and Sora grinned and secured his younger brother in a headlock. He said it was all right because girls were still icky to him and Roxas wasn't so they could be as incest-incest-that big word as much as they liked and like hell their parents would do anything to stop them. And Roxas smiled truly for the first time in a long time and said it was right.

Then Sora released his younger brother and dared him to try and swing higher before taking off with a swirl of snow and flying into the sky, bottom still planted in the seat of the swing. Roxas coughed slightly from the shower of white, but he wasn't going to be outdone; he began to push against the ground too, trying to gain on his already soaring brother.

The swing set was rocking with them because it was small and though they were somewhat short, they still made some weight and their speed was increasing by the second. It wasn't until they were aligned with the top of the set that their eyes met in a second-long glance that was the longest conversation at the same time and they flew. Fingers unwrapped from the plastic-covered chains and both shoved off at the highest elevation they could reach. Both landed on their feet and both fell onto their asses right afterward, more than a little out of breath and high off endorphins.

"We need to do this more often." Sora panted, sky-blue eyes staring up at the white clouds that currently hid the sun and sky. He ended up falling onto his back and simply lying in the snow with uniform for school more than slightly mussed up. Roxas eyed him, acknowledging the fact that Sora was a knock-out even at the age of twelve while he was a…lemon head. He felt stupid for even thinking that right afterward because really they looked the same, and honestly, he was beyond envying his brother wasn't he?

-----

Roxas found out he wasn't beyond envying his brother later on, but that was later on. When he was twelve, Sora was still his twin and they needed to be together. He nearly screamed bloody murder the day he learned about the divorce and the apparent eloping between his mother and uncle that was his father's brother and therefore Cloud and Namine's stepfather. And he hated it because his mother wanted Sora – not him, but it didn't matter then, only the fact that his brother was _leaving_ – and his father would keep him. So it had been willed in court and so it was done.

When it came time to leave his mother who was no longer his mother purred, "Say goodbye to Roxy, Sora," he lost it. Though he didn't attack his mother, the darkness in his eyes grew then, no longer a speck of fiery darkness that was deeper and fuller than his pupils ever were. And she stared at him, her mouth quivered and when the darkness was hidden by feelings of sorrow and loss as his brother hugged him in goodbye, it was only then that she regained her bravado.

They left Roxas and his father alone in that house that suddenly seemed too large, and Sora disappeared behind the wall. Now, Roxas would not walk straight home, and when he did, the beats of harsh techno resounded from his room. His father stuffed himself into a tiny room now dubbed the Study and committed himself fully to his work. Both spent more and more time out of the house, rarely speaking to each other because his father was dark-haired like Sora and Roxas looked like his mother with his hair weighted down by water or hats.

It came of no surprise to Roxas when he learned that his father was flying high on Glass. Honestly, he just felt glad that the older man wasn't out getting wasted or contracting AIDS or something equally unfitting. Glass was classy and his father could function better with it. Sure, he crashed eventually, but it was only for a day when he would sleep like the dead and then they were both back into their lives – utterly absorbed by their newest responsibilities, whatever they happened to be that week.

It might have been all right, if it had been only that. Glass was something Roxas knew instinctively not to try, not to screw with because the shit would destroy his senses so totally that it wasn't even worth it in the end. But, his father needed something else, Roxas knew. He just didn't know what until he stayed home one day unexpectedly because he was sick with some stupid virus that only lasted for twenty-four hours. His father left for work before him and came back home for lunch before returning to work for another seven hours. When his father came home at lunch, Roxas stayed in bed, not wishing to arouse concern and possibly take his mind off work.

He needn't have bothered with the courtesy. Ten minutes after his father had settled down in his room to smoke Glass, the front door was opened and a giggly, bubbly voice issued from the hall. Roxas stayed still and didn't even dare to breathe as he tried to place the voice. He couldn't which made a knot form in his stomach, but what made it worse was when the woman went into his father's room and asked for some Glass as well. But, Glass made one's sensual desires increase tenfold and it wasn't long until Roxas had a pair of earbuds in with music cranked up to the max to drown out the sound of squeaky bedsprings and low, insistent moans that he found revolting in the worst possible way because it was as if they knew he was here and were trying to punish him for his obvious refusal to join the party.

Still, it all eventually stopped and he could finally breathe because there wasn't a stone lodged in his throat and his eyes no longer burned. It wasn't uncommon for a child to learn of sex this way, hearing parents or lovers, accidently finding it somehow or another. But this was cruel and wrong and Roxas feared the day his father might mistake him for his mother and try something Roxas didn't want to think of. It was a strange fear, but it was one that too often took shape in the boy's troubled mind. Because there was something not right with him, something that made him both a necessity and an abomination as compared to the rest of mankind. And it would be later than Roxas would be known as the one who did what he wanted and called it duty, who was so pure and tainted at the same time – a glass rose with real brambles, so fragile and yet so strong.

Roxas didn't find anything wrong about kissing Sora, though. He never thought beyond that, except maybe in his dreams.

-----

Their group broke up completely once Sora left. Kairi began to hang out with girls like Selphie and Penelo others that Roxas cared nothing for. Hayner, Pence, and Olette all went their separate ways, and Namine still couldn't quite face Roxas so she fled to the roof of the main school building to hide until it came time for classes to begin. Roxas found new friends.

Of course, they weren't his friends. They were Cloud's – quiet and solemn Cloud who could have been shaped from the same mold that shaped Roxas except that the mold broke after it made Roxas, and there were some differences in their personality that wouldn't show up until it was chaos and carnage with hounds fighting Shadows and light dying before darkness. But that would be then and for now Roxas became a second shadow for Cloud, following the older blonde and it was all right because he looked like a younger brother except that he wasn't.

Tidus, one of Cloud's friends, had the tactlessness to point this out during an extended break period where everyone was wandering around while the graduating classes took tests and worried about their futures even though they _had no futures_. And then everyone was studying the two blondes until it was decided that Cloud's ears were too pointy and Roxas's were too round and why the _fuck_ wasn't Cloud an elf? Because, with those ears, he could certainly pass as one. But they were both lemon heads and too wrapped up in pessimistic clouds of despair and muck; the conversation was so strange at that point that Roxas tuned it out but not before hearing Cloud whisper tersely into his ear that he should visit Namine, and "you need to visit Namine, for both of you."

The next day was bright and right so Roxas went to visit Namine high up on the roof with the key to it in hand and ready for use. It wasn't until Roxas was on the last flight of stairs with only a locked door separating him from the quiet girl that he became timid because why had he rejected her? But Roxas couldn't dredge up an answer because then the morning bell rang and the door swung open on its own to reveal Namine. She took a step back in slight shock and he took it as his clue to step into the spotlight that was actually sunlight and face a jury that didn't know what to do and consisted of only one.

"I didn't want to ruin things for the group," and "Us dating when we were related by law was kind of weird and it's still weird," were the basis of his speech and he quickly gained steam once those words were out. Because Roxas wasn't _that_ smart, he was only twelve for God's sake, and he could only process so much of what his mind was telling him. Namine was _that _smart, however, simply because she was a girl and girls matured faster, everyone knew that, duh.

She nodded and made small sounds of encouragement whenever he faltered, hands fidgeting in her lap until she could stand it no longer and was brushing at her hair – smoothing it into place only to decide thirty seconds later that it felt more natural the other way. Because Roxas was changing and developing out of his old self-assured, mature self. Now he was finicky, slightly timid, and she wondered if Roxas was the moon. Sora was the sun and without the sun, the moon could cast no light in the darkness of the night and was lost and cold and alone. And this was Roxas except for the fact that she saw ice too – so cold it burned when touched and was hatred where before his fire had been desire and she wondered.

Then he was done and there was once more fiery flames spiraling in his eyes and they begged her to accept his choice to deny her. Namine was cool water and she suddenly saw that this was right, to be this way – because she was water and he was ice which would never work together. Ice couldn't grow or melt with water the way it did with fire and other elements. And she, as water, had grown into her niche already but the ice still needed to either thaw or expand so she nodded her head and withdrew her heart from the air and back into her chest where it would be locked up until she found someone else.

Roxas smiled and the fire diminished and went away, but she still saw the pinpricks of heat and hatred deep within. She might have said something that day if Cloud hadn't come up then to inform them that he hadn't wanted them to have an hour and a half-long conversation, so could they please come back before they missed anymore classes? And Roxas turned and the tiny pits of Hell became covered by his deep blue irises once more. She didn't see the light blue gathering around the edges like ice upon water. And Cloud might have, and Namine should have asked him because otherwise they might not have had such harsh winters later on when blocks of ice replaced what could have been scarlet and beating and warm had it been allowed to grow and revel in the sun's attention like a flower.

-----

November meant something that year because Roxas received the news from his father that Sora was coming home for some time because his mother (for she refused to acknowledge the demon-child that was Roxas as her own) was taking courses in psychology and his step-father (because neither of the twins would ever say the word _Uncle_ to his face ever again) was away on some sort of business on the northern side of the City. Neither his mother nor his step-father would be able to give him any sort of attention during that time (and the length of his visit was still undetermined), so he would be with Roxas and their father for two birthdays that would be celebrated together simply because the boys _needed_ that old type of classification and they would be _we_ and_ us_ until both felt safe with their status as one another's twin.

Then Roxas actually cared about life again because the only two who had kept him from wasting away had been Namine and Cloud since his other _friends _had apparently felt no loyalty to him once Sora was gone. Now he watched what he ate (though his super-fast metabolism hadn't permitted him to gain weight anyway), and he searched desperately for something that would remind Sora of him once they had to separate again. But Sora wasn't here yet, wouldn't be until the twelfth of December, and he didn't need to so suddenly do a three-sixty with his life but Roxas didn't care. The sun was back!

Both Namine and Cloud were happy for him and kept Sora's return a secret for him simply because he had to have Sora at least until the day after their birthdays, then everyone else could bask in the glow that was Sora. He hadn't wanted anyone to know, but after seeing Kairi starting to look like a skeleton, he decided that his sun had to be given to everyone despite how much it pained him.

Roxas found the necklace the day before Sora's arrival. It was in a rickety old antique store that sold wares from when the twenty-second century had just dawned. It was there that Roxas found the crown dangling from a slim, yet strong chain. Magic was something that everyone knew existed in one form or another. Everyone also knew that certain magical items could develop a sort of consciousness. They could reject certain people and save others. And this crown hated Roxas – but it was a grudging kind of hate, as if it thrummed softly because it was made to fight against him but did not sense any harm. And similarly – Roxas just knew that it would like Sora because it begged for something like Roxas but utterly not him. So it would go to Sora on his birthday.

-----

The door to the car that wasn't just a car but a taxi, airship, navigatorsecretaryinternbedcouchtablepackmule opened and Sora stumbled out of it with two bags bursting with clothes and odd knick-knacks stuck here and there since space seemed to have been eliminated. In his mouth he carried a bag with bubbles and black and blue splashes on it, and red tissue paper stuck out along with a card that was halfway stuck in a green envelope that clashed so horribly with the bag and tissue paper that Roxas knew Sora had gone shopping by himself and had picked out everything for Roxas – at least their father had helped Roxas pick out the little cardboard cake with a hollow inside where a case containing the crown necklace would go.

Roxas didn't notice Sora's appearance until the brown-haired boy had gotten to the front door with Roxas peeking out from upstairs where he had been cleaning out Sora's old room and fixing the two beds to where they sat right next to each other because he wasn't going to be separated from Sora for one second. Sora was the sun now, hair bleached lighter and swept up to where his spikes were all the more apparent and his skin was slightly darker than Roxas's own paleness. Sunglasses perched high on his head, as if long forgotten, and the boy wore so many chains that Roxas was surprised he didn't suffocate or simply fall down under all the extra weight.

And then Sora was inside the house because of course, their father was home that day because his other son was home. Roxas was down the stairs faster than ever before, eyes unfocused and pure delight outlining every part of his body because the sun was back which meant the moon was at full strength and perfection was in reach for the first time and butterfly wings may not have been rustling but dragonfly wings were and they shone in restored brilliance. He only roused himself from his drunken charge to make sure he was getting ready to tackle the right brunet before slamming into Sora at full force and sending them both tumbling to the ground.

His nose found its way into the curve of Sora's neck and his eyelashes peppered Sora's cheek with tears that hadn't meant to fall, hadn't even been there a second before. But it was ok because Sora was glad to have his reflection back and Roxas though giddily that he might pop because Sora's embrace was mighty and terrible yet so, so wonderful. And Sora was mumbling something that Roxas couldn't understand, yet he did all the same because the constellations were aligned and two hearts were beating in perfect tandem. "I'm back, Roxy; I'm back."

Later on, when memories of the past were like faded photographs worn by time's ever-impressive tongue, Roxas would remember those words because he said some of his own and they were: "It's all right, So-so. Everything's all right."

Roxas and Sora were stripped of their years then, transforming back to the tender age of five when the world was fresh and new and young. Then, they were everything and the worlds revolved around them and the walls were there to keep them safe and secret and locked away because _they were special._ Roxas was Roxy and Sora was So-so because Roxas was too big a name for such a small, little entity that was destined to become a deity and Sora made sure everything was either so-so or just fine. They were the essence of youth and innocence and the butterfly was still just a cocoon waiting until it became like aged wine so that it might be released and admired before finally being devoured.

Time might have stopped then and wound backwards for real and for good, but their father was a good man with strong morals and he felt more than a little uncomfortable to see two separate forces coming together in peace and harmony despite his own past sins. So his throat rumbled in interruption and the two boys split apart, getting up together from their place on the floor and picking up Sora's scattered belongings. They were hip-to-hip for the entire rest of the evening and when it came for showers and other such things generally done in private, the abandoned one stayed beside the bathroom door and leaned his head against, dozing in a way that he seemed ready to pass into death at any moment.

When it came time for sleep, the two spoke then because, with their father nearby, things couldn't be discussed that held any real meaning otherwise the feeling of being one with another would be lost and be replaced with the dirty feeling of being intimate with a stranger. So, under the glow of the moon being illuminated by the sun, Sora and Roxas spoke for the first time in months simply because talking to one another without the other right there was wrong and gut-wrenching in the worst possible way.

Roxas spoke about the group's disloyalty but kept quiet about Namine. He talked about Cloud's friends but said nothing about elf ears. Because, secrets had to be kept and even the moon hid half of itself from the sun at one point or another, sometimes fleeing to hide behind the earth while it recovered from the sun's radiant beauty. He packed months of sorrow and abandonment into one tiny, quiet sentence that exploded into the air with the force of a bomb simply because it was all truth and raw and unadulterated. Roxas said he missed Sora, and Sora replied back in kind. Then he told of his tale, about secrets that had hidden from Roxas to where not even their presence was known to the blonde.

There was a place to the southwest of the city and it was seaside and salty and vibrant in its life. Beyond the sea that broke upon rocks and scattered liquid diamonds lay a group of islands called Destiny Islands as a whole with no individual names where Sora now lived. And, altogether, from the stretch of wall that surrounded the city to the end of Destiny Islands – all of that land and ocean and air could fit inside the central part of the city, the one with skytrains bordering it on all sides and where the rich lived and went about their business. Central, as it was called, was the smallest of the sectors and for Sora's new home to fit inside that tiny space was amazing and showed Roxas how large the City really was.

But, that wasn't all. And Sora's face lost some of its joy and drained back to the muted dullness that had sat upon it while the boy waited for Roxas to shower and change into pajamas. He hadn't seen Riku, but he had seen yet another wall – lower but much more menacing than the one that surrounded them presently. It had been covered in a material that looked like dragon scales with spikes as thick as the boys' bodies settled on top. Beyond that wall, for it had surrounded Sora's land on all sides except for the one that made up the City's barrier as well, lay the place where Riku and his parents had gone. Beyond that were the wilds and free magic, dark beasts and open countryside. For, the land was said to have a sort of scar upon it. Past that scar where everything terrible and wrong lived were others cities similar to the one Roxas presided in. And, up until the return of Shadows (except Sora simply called the group _them),_ the cities had kept in contact with one another. Now, they had no communication with any of the other cities, each having been less grand than the City simply because the City was also the capital.

Sora might have said more but their father came in then and said they had to sleep because tomorrow was cake and ice cream and loud noise. Then, Sora regained his smile and punched the air as their father withdrew to his own room, flicking out the hall's light before closing the door. Roxas grabbed Sora's arm and pulled him into the beds because they were still equal in strength, and Sora was somewhat of a pushover.

He might have always have been a pushover and simply grew a backbone later on, but that was later on and for now, Sora and Roxas cuddled in the pushed-together beds and watched the first flakes of snow fall before succumbing to slumber.

-----

It was their birthday, and Roxas had graciously invited Cloud and Namine to come over because it was Friday and school was out for a snow day. They were thirteen and had been for at least ten or eleven hours which was awesome as Sora said because they were old. And then Cloud winced slightly and complained good-naturedly about feeling like a geezer with Sora saying that. Then Sora laughed and Roxas laughed, and the two exchanged amused glances before returning to their presents. Roxas had ten presents and Sora had nine because most of the presents had been for Roxas from Cloud's friends. But that wasn't right, so Roxas had given as many as he could to Sora and it still didn't turn out even since Cloud had an odd group of friends with some that liked quiet Roxas and others that wanted to knock his lights out.

All presents had been opened except for the two they had picked out for each other, and a feeling of anticipation fell like a cloud over the teens since their father wasn't there because he was getting pizza, yum. Then Sora was given a cake made of cardboard which he destroyed with both hands and teeth to reveal the velvet box containing the crown necklace. And he smiled because they were brothers and it connected them. Roxas felt the crown hum in approval, and Sora winked at Roxas before shoving his own bag into the blonde's lap. Then Sora put his necklace on while Roxas stared at the party bag in awe before slowly disassembling it until only a pouch was left.

So, Roxas undid the ridiculous little bowtie that Sora had twisted around the opening because "the gold cord wouldn't work" and emptied the contents into his hand. It was steel and moonstone with the front painted black and it was an _X_. And Roxas couldn't say anything because then he realized that his brother knew he wasn't supposed to exist, a girl named Rain or some other stupid name was supposed to and Roxas was reminded of it constantly because he was _Sora X and roXaS. _And his brother accepted this part of him and didn't blame him for not being Rain and not completing the circle of dragon and phoenix.

Sora accepted him as Roxas, so they both blew out the smoke but neither inhaled it.

_Happy Birthday – Roxy, So-so._

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**Perfect Image**: Chapter two is done. Here, we get closer to the present, and Roxas's memories aren't quite so jumbled. We're slowly progressing toward the lucky number and once we hit that age, everything will go by much faster – and will probably be longer just so I can stick all the information that needs sticking in there – so please enjoy the slowness while it lasts. I would, however, like to add a warning before we continue on to the next chapter – which won't be out until later, but whatever.

_**Shonen-ai, Shoujo-ai, and normal pairings will all make an appearance. However, the story is not based on these factors, so if one of these disturbs you, simply continue on to the next segment of the story or buckle down and bear with me. Most pairings are hinted at best while others most likely won't lead to anything. **_

I felt the need to add this for those that dislike any of the above factors and would not like to be taken surprise of. Please note that the series will not go above a Teen level so any looking for porn are out of luck since this is quite obviously not the place for such a topic.

**Disclaimer:** The characters from Square Enix are not mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.


	3. Black Ice

**Silhouette**

_**The Nine Lives of a Shadow**_

_By Perfect Image_

_Eleven to Twenty_

_Tick, tick, Boom--_

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_- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-_

_~English Proverb~_

_::Chapter Three::_

_Ages Thirteen to Fourteen_

_Black Ice_

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Rain was gone for good and Roxas had taken her place, so there would be no more thoughts about her. The chain with the _X _was more like a choker and on some of his high-necked shirts it ended up looking like part of the cloth, and this somewhat amused Roxas because only Sora would get something that could do this sort of thing – turning from a necklace to a zipper or some other item equally mundane and normal for a boy.

In Roxas's school boys that wore chokers and the like (anything that girls normally wore) were often labeled as queer and gay and off limits, because the world was still prejudiced, would always be. And, when Sora demanded to see Pence and Hayner, Olette and Kairi, and Namine as well, Roxas silently bristled beside Sora because he knew Hayner wasn't the most kind when it came to anything slightly effeminate and he was ready to defend his older brother. But when the group got there, Hayner said nothing about the chain with the ridiculous crown hanging off the end of it because Sora was Sora and could not be hated for something like a crown necklace that could just as easily have been on one of the girls.

Instead, Hayner treated Sora like an old bud and Roxas was included, though he hung back when the group fell in one giant wave on Sora, excluding Namine and himself, because they remembered the others' quick scattering whenever the heart left. Kairi was crying in happiness, and Sora looked like he would start bawling at any second just because this was their first meeting after so long. Roxas shoved down the distrust he felt and swallowed hard to remove the taste of contempt that lay like bile in the back of his mouth and weighed heavily on his tongue in the form of poisonous words meant to wound traitors mortally. But he wouldn't fuck it up when they were whole.

As one, the group moved off to go to the nearest bar that doubled as a club for the younger generation in the off hours when the sun was out and everything that was nasty and dark crept away for fear of being burned. But Roxas, despite being a creature of darkness himself (for he was the moon and the moon commanded the night life to do as it wished), loved the light that was Sora and the other boy was a heater -- not a fire to burn and torch him. So they went there and the beats were right, the crowd was pulsing and the general waves sliding out the darkly-colored glass doors swamped the surrounding area to where the ground danced underneath their feet as they walked.

And they might have all gone in there if Kairi hadn't suddenly asked for lunch, and it was an inquiry that was given special attention to by Sora, and he said that would probably be best. His eyes didn't hide his opinion on his best friend's bony appearance; the thirteen-year-old took charge of the situation in a way that Roxas would never be able to. The others listened with respect because Sora was a leader, and Roxas saw that he was not needed. So, with his current want for Sora fulfilled, Roxas slipped away after catching Sora's hand for one moment as they all began to walk toward a good café nearby and silently directing his gaze toward the club. Because if they didn't know where the other one was then it would all go crashing down – their reconstructed world, that was – and Sora nodded, gave a half-smile, and teasingly said that if Roxas wasn't back by the time they were done eating (which, with Hayner, Sora, and Pence eating, would take a while) Sora would come fetch the blonde himself and then Roxy would be forced to be dragged around like a dog, but don't worry "you'd get treats".

Roxas smiled back, the grin a wolf gave its prey with all teeth exposed in a way that was more menacing than friendly, but Sora was older and wiser. So the brunet simply wrinkled his nose in obvious distaste before hurrying after the others. And it was only then that Roxas noticed Namine standing like a fateful Brach at his side. She was a white apparition while he was a black ghost, his clothes meant to soak up the sun's rays because he was becoming colder and even the warmth that was Sora did not have the same effect that it once did – and this disturbed Roxas so much because when Sora was nearby before, he had been warm and safe, bundled in a blanket made by the brunet's gaze. And now, the flames were embers, but they still worked their charms – just not to the extent they had before. And a breeze rustled by and Roxas smelled the sulfur and charcoal that was Sora's fire burning at full capacity – so why was the fire nothing more than little sparks now when facing his icy self?

But, Roxas didn't want to think about such unpleasant things; he simply wanted to have peace of a kind he never had before. So, with a small nod at Namine (because she would accompany him everywhere today what with the others' hold over Sora), Roxas swept through the shadowed doors and was inside a long black hallway with small, fluorescent lights underneath lighting his path. Namine followed close behind and her white dress swirled about her with the light reflecting off of her to where she was dressed up in every color imaginable. Their skin looked sick and pale – bathed in acidic green from those gelatin glow worms that wriggled and squirmed inside the ceiling, designed to thrill and fascinate all visitors.

During the day the club's skylight was covered in multiple shades of violet to where the floor beneath was covered in a mystical sheen of Sun's mist. The bar glowed neon yellow, brighter than a highlighter and so _real _that one became thirsty just looking at it. However, both the stools and the counter itself were topped by sculpted onyx (though the seats were also implanted with cushions to make them more comfortable). The DJ's stand was surrounded by older, obsolete CDs for the classics of Rock n' Roll, Country, and Instrumental while on the main table sat the drive holder for everything that was Techno and Metal and Syncros (a completely new set of beats that combined lyrics warped tenfold and remixed to where a robot would have been better suited for singing and sounds only a computer could make scratched and mutilated until it created the perfect sound that was sick and addictive and a drug in and of itself). The actual druggies of all things Syncro were demanding track after track of the manipulative and hyper-space paced rhythms, bodies coiling like the beats they were so captivated by as they rejected the current layout that was electronic and raving and bouncing. Not that the old-fashioned DJ cared – he would have played U2, Limp Bizkit, Flow, and other oldies if he could get away with it. Actually, he was being adventurous simply by playing an old band called Celldweller that had songs most would either call Industrial or Techno, one or the other.

They weren't here to dance but rather to escape for peace, even if it wasn't necessarily quiet. The walls were damp and cool and the wallflowers were so spread out that they might have been shadowed statues with their pinched and make-up caked faces as they waited to bloom into roses or wither and die unnoticed. And Roxas took his place among them while Namine sat on a plain chair that creaked as she shifted with her pencil in one hand while her sketchbook waited patiently on her lap because she could hide things with no one ever noticing.

Then there was no sound for Roxas except for the _scritch-scratch _of art being created, and the room hummed and rolled and shifted with the beats until the lines being drawn doubled as the pulsing air. Such gentle sounds could not be held by their selves for so long though, and they were often joined by the harsh croaks of the human language sooner or later. And when someone did speak, it was with the dry throat of one who rarely conversed at all, hoarse as if the owner smoked harshly but Roxas had smelled nothing.

"It's wrong for people to be noticed when they're trying not to be. Crawl back into your cave, little one, until you're done growing." Roxas's eyes slid open (for he had closed them when Namine started drawing since she didn't like being stared at while she worked) and when he inhaled the smell of cough syrup nearly made him gag. Then there was a death rattle beside him to the right and he whipped his head around to find – nothing.

"Not yet, little one; I told you." Roxas returned his gaze back to the middle of the room and there she stood, obvious and apparent even among the constantly shifting crowd. And even though she hissed when she spoke, he could still hear her as if she was right there. He blinked because his eyes were burning from staring and she was only a few feet away from him.

She was Death incarnated with skin that seemed to be made of paper and eyes made of marble. Her hair was coarse and stiff and black as night while her lips were bloody except that there was no blood. She was a porcelain doll come to life, and he knew it for he saw the faint indention that curved around her neck and her visible arms. While the rest of her was cloaked in red and black and leather, Roxas bet that the same could be found on her midsection and legs – for those were where the pieces fit together and he saw, barely visible, the small hinge that was her jaw as her mouth moved, stiff and unnatural.

The doll proffered a hand, and Roxas saw the faint chipping from where it had suffered damage and he saw where one of the finger pieces had been disconnected forcefully to where there was nothing but a stump and hollow where the parts had connected. "Your fault. I followed the wrong twin, and my master was not happy."

She was suddenly in his face, and her mouth opened fully and he saw the snake teeth and he knew she would swallow him whole and no one would notice except – Namine was standing beside the living china and she was liquid grace as one long, smooth finger traced along the line that circled the woman's neck. Then the life faded from the doll's eyes and she collapsed just as Namine swooned and returned to normal, for those hadn't been her eyes before simply because those eyes had been the same poison green that the bubbles in the ceiling had been. They had to leave – chaos had erupted because there were more dolls. Roxas could see them now.

-----

They had left because Roxas wasn't in any harm, but the rest of the people were. He had dragged Namine out of there and had seen on the news later how the club had been destroyed and burned with some bodies thrown clear while others were either ash or strangely melted. Because the dolls had only been there to stop the people from escaping and spreading the news, Roxas knew that. And he sat on the couch curled up beside his brother, no longer interested in the carnage but rather in the grayness reflected in the depths of his brother's eyes.

"Hey, Roxy?" Sora said when the special report was off and there was only a boring commercial about bread on. "What happened in there?" And Roxas averted his eyes abruptly because Sora was regarding him with all the graveness that he received from Cloud and he certainly didn't expect it from Sora. So, to both patronize and reassure his brunet twin, Roxas laid his head on Sora's shoulder and scrunched up tighter against him.

"First off, stop looking like Cloud because that's not a good look for you," and he waited while Sora relaxed and gave a soft laugh then spoke again. "Second, Namine and I went dancing, I met a creepy lady that smelled like medicine, and Namine nearly passed out from the woman's smell so we left." And Roxas felt guilty for lying and smudging the truth to where it was something completely different but Sora didn't need to worry – that was Roxas's thing and he had never felt in any danger the whole time that had been occurring. In fact, his only concern had been more so for Namine and what the dolls might have done to her because she was benign and where had that idea come from?

He must have frowned because Sora laughed slightly louder and rubbed a thumb against Roxas's forehead, telling him to erase that frown before he got wrinkles, he was too young. Besides, Sora didn't mean to pry, it was just that Roxas was younger and therefore Sora's responsibility and said younger frowned and asked sourly, "Since when?" And Sora smiled and ruffled Roxas's hair until it actually resembled the back of a porcupine. Then Roxas shoved his brother onto the floor below where Sora squalled and complained until Roxas finally smiled and said he was sorry.

"I missed you, Roxy." Sora said, eyes twinkling with something that made a detached part of Roxas snarl in warning but made another, fainter part purr in joy. Yet, he himself, as a whole found nothing that made sense in those eyes that were the deep blue yonder flying high above. Then the world tilted because Sora had hold of his arm and Roxas tumbled onto soft carpet and skin-covered fire. And now it was Roxas's turn to struggle against his elder brother, grappling with him until Sora had him pinned down.

Then the older twin stilled and Roxas tensed up because now that glint in Sora's eyes had matured until it was no longer a tiny acorn but rather a tall oak tree. And the Roxas that wasn't this Roxas but was older and stronger and wiser winced because that position was dangerous and deadly and destructive in the worst of ways. Only this was the Sora that was thirteen and he wouldn't hurt Roxas, but he was watching him closely, searching for something in Roxas's eyes – approval of a sort that Roxas had never granted before and would most likely never grant again. And he seemed to find an answer because he sucked in a breath and –

– Roxas stuttered and swallowed before saying, "I missed you too, So-so." And Sora flinched as if he had been burned by a fire of a different sort, the fire of sins and lust and greed and gluttony for that which was not his to take. Then he smiled shakily in a way that was meant to warn off blows and did not reassure Roxas at all and slid off his younger twin, touching the ground gingerly and moving as if suddenly self-conscious.

Roxas was disturbed mildly to find that he felt heated and flushed in a way that was both uncomfortable and foreign all at once and one of the oldest books still in existence came back to him and it slammed his insides with words like "blasphemy" and "demon" and "sin" in a way that made him avoid eye-contact with Sora. His lips hurt and he bit them in a way that made the brunet that sat a few feet away from him look away shamefully. Yet, innocence had never deserted Roxas so completely that he knew everything at such an uncertain age – he certainly wasn't as worldly as Sora because he hadn't been _anywhere_ and Sora had.

And that revelation was tinged with sorrow and mingled with regret because they were supposed to have faced the world together. Yet now Sora was having an earthquake shake up the very foundations that had made him kind and caring and loving and he couldn't look Roxas in the eye because he didn't know what would happen. And Roxas only understood this later when everything was flipped upside down and the world was screwy and not in a good sense if there was such a thing.

Finally, Sora seemed to gather his courage. He threw Roxas a smile that was bashful and shy and Sora's general sweetness toned down to where he was melted chocolate and not pure sugar sprinkled upon cake mixed with ice cream. And suddenly Roxas was hungry, and he licked his lips with a tongue that was as dry as his mouth had become. "Food," he croaked out, and Sora looked almost surprised by his words before smiling fully like he was a floodlight and getting up to head toward the kitchen.

For some reason, Roxas felt guilty for saying something like that, as if the air had been tight and gasping for a reason. Roxas had felt like he was suffocating and dying and dehydrating all at once, but as soon as Sora left, the heat was no longer oppressive and the air was normal in a way that scared him because it was _too_ _normal._

His stomach twisted and turned; Roxas headed after Sora into the kitchen, wondering if ice cream flavored like sea salt would calm him down. He'd never seen the sea, except on television, but it seemed like the right kind for now. After all, Sora's new home was by the sea, soaking in rays of his other self and breathing in the air of life and fun. Maybe, if Roxas imagined hard enough, the ice cream would taste just like Sora's new home.

-----

They were going to turn fourteen and Riku had invited them to visit him. And Sora had spent the day yelling about how happy he was while Roxas smiled tightly and wished he could share Sora's enthusiasm. It was strange – to be called after so long by someone the twins had given up on. Sora wouldn't let the strangeness get to him though, and Roxas was loath to show any discomfort around his brother. Their father said they could go.

Of course he would say that. His little friend who both provided him with Glass and picked up the pieces was angry and no longer selling. So their father had switched to being a pot-head, and it annoyed Roxas so much because now he was slow instead of fast, fast, faster than fast. It was all slow-motion, and Roxas was quick to direct Sora's eyes onto other subjects whenever he became suspicious. Because Sora couldn't be tempted by such stupid drugs even if Roxas had – but that had been Heroin and it had only been once at a party. Needless to say, Roxas didn't go to those parties anymore. His arm had hurt like Hell.

Roxas was packing his bags because Riku would be coming to get them today and it wasn't even snowing in the City yet. Sora had heard nothing from either his mother or his step-father and that didn't worry him at all because Roxas was all the family he needed. But, the boys would be staying with Riku until their father could get his little buddy back into his arms and bed, which meant that children were not invited. Something told Roxas that his father wouldn't send for them too soon, from the way the bitch acted.

And then Sora was rushing into their shared bedroom with eyes sparkling and screaming for Roxas to come on – Riku was here! Some spiteful part of Roxas made him snarl and hiss that Riku could damn well wait aloud. Sora pulled up and the joy left his face to be replaced by an intense _look _that made Roxas shudder and drag himself closer to Sora. The twins stared at each and Sora opened his mouth to talk but no sound came out. But it was all right, because Roxas was ready to apologize since his brother was too solemn and sober right now – such heat radiating off him that Roxas translated as hatred and anger and loathing.

Then something _happened_. It had been growing for too long and it was tension left unresolved and untamed. Both had felt the monster creeping up behind them but neither had said anything about it. Because it had been a promise from when they were younger than young – five and utterly innocent with no morals and only instincts. Savagery and passion came naturally, but right and wrong had to be taught. They were kissing, and then they weren't; and, the stress drained out of both of them.

Sora stared at Roxas, panting and shaking with some primal part of him that hadn't shown until then and Roxas thought vaguely – this is the wrong Sora, the dark Sora. And his brunet twin saw that a promise had been fulfilled and calmly left the battlefield that had become their bedroom. "Riku's here." And Sora was gone, leaving Roxas drained.

Later, in the back of a car that wasn't a car and certainly didn't hold Riku, both Sora and Roxas sat and stared out their windows. Riku had sent a friend to get them because he was only fifteen and yet somehow busy. The back of the vehicle was stifling with the meeting of ice and fire. It was wrong and unbalanced in the worst of ways. Two opposite elements meeting together in a clash that should have been a joyful joining had brought about an almost haunted look to Roxas's eyes because his imaginings of kissing Sora hadn't been so _icy_. And, for once, Sora had been burned – Roxas could smell the smoke that wafted off the boy and showed that something had been put out.

The outside of the City was a giant fence on one side and a sprawling town backed by the ocean and tropical islands on the other. The nicer side that was also Sora's home was on Roxas's side and he smelled fish and coconuts and actual sea salt. Sora shared a weak smile with him because both were still wary but now their pinkies touched ever so carefully. They might be friends by the time it was over, Roxas realized. Then, they were turning toward the dark wall that made the City walls so beautiful and not so _ugly_.

The path they traveled was patrolled by little spheres of light that seemed vaguely mechanical. It was a defense system called Claymore and, at first, once they passed the dark wall there was sprawling green grass that made Sora get up and look out his window too, neck craning but not yet cramping like Roxas's. Neither had seen so much space before, and dotted along the countryside were large houses that might have been mansions, some surrounded by birds Roxas knew to be chocobos and others by fruits and vegetables with bright foliage that signified poison to those that wished them harm – the produce could be eaten only with careful extraction of some poisons, others were not harmful to humans.

And then their driver sucked in a breath and Roxas tensed because something was wrong. Sora's eyes slid to meet Roxas's and suddenly they were clinging to each other as darkness surrounded them. The sun was gone and the only light came from the headlights and eyes staring into the car. The driver hissed an obscenity and pressed some hidden button beneath the dashboard before something screeched and a reptilian-like quadruped dragged him out through the front of the car. Then the rest of the golden eyes charged forward and the ground beneath the car swarmed with black and gold and red.

Then, Sora was dragging Roxas out of the car with him and they were running, past the barrier of darkness that had surrounded them and into the sunlight with the tiny little black things that could have been plushie toys following after. The houses were too far, but it was going to be fine if they sacrificed something. Roxas met Sora's eyes once more, and he smiled bitterly. The moon would gladly die for the sun, after all. Roxas shoved Sora down the rolling hill and turned to meet the darkness head on.

He heard shouting as the little things surrounded him and he saw a light before those nearest to him forced him deep into the shadows and everything went black. They wouldn't hurt him; that much was clear. Their bodies were like satin and cashmere and he felt so sleepy and warm and heavy. His lashes fluttered, and the moon fell asleep as the sun watched with shock shining in blue eyes that framed fire. Roxas was spirited away; Sora was saved. The balance corrected itself, and it was a new moon that night.

-----

Roxas awoke to find a woman staring at him, a cold kind of warmth swimming in her eyes. He moaned and raised his head, feeling weighted down by something that felt like lead and was entirely too effective at keeping him down and drowsy. The woman, who was beautiful in a cold kind of way despite the warmth she gave off, backed away a few steps and he saw the walls were white even if the bed he lay on was ebony.

"Wake up, sweetie," she cooed. She smiled a plastic kind of smile and backed off even more so to where she stood beside the ivory door that was so slightly ajar. "The little cretins that got you won't be seen again; we punished them." And then she was gone through the door, and Roxas closed his eyes once more.

When he woke up the second time, he felt oddly different. He was in the same white room with a closet and a desk as well as a chair that rolled across the carpeted floor. It didn't bother him that everything except for his bed was varying shades of white. Actually, it didn't even bother him that a lanky red-head was seated in his chair; head tipped forward and resting on his chest as he slept, oblivious to Roxas's awakening. The blonde watched him and felt nothing of it.

The older man woke up sometime sooner or later; Roxas didn't know what time it was nor did he particularly care. When he did, the soft snoring abruptly ceased and acidic green eyes regarded Roxas with _something_ before he was up and scrutinizing Roxas at a closer level. "Wow, the Superior did a number on you. We must be getting better with this sort of stuff." The tall man edged closer, starting to pace around the bed to view Roxas from all sides, the boy returning his gaze frankly.

Finally, the red-head drew back up to his full height and rubbed the back of his neck with what might have been embarrassment. "Sorry 'bout that kid. The name's Axel, A-X-E-L." He grinned and flashed teeth that looked slightly pointed. "Got it memorized?" He waited, as if expecting an answer before sighing and flopping back down in the chair.

"Man, dead as a doornail. Maybe you were a space case to begin with." Axel, with some difficulty Roxas noted, wheeled himself over to where he was maybe two feet away. Then, smiling in a not-quite smile way, he waved his hand in front of Roxas's face. The blonde's eyes followed the motion blankly, but he didn't comment on it.

"Yeesh, you're worse than icky Vexen. I tell ya, pardner, you'd better liven' up or I'm gonna ruffle you up." Axel adopted a western drawl and twisted his hands to where they resembled guns somewhat, "shooting" Roxas before blowing at his index fingers and pretending to set them back into imaginary holsters. And Roxas stared back blankly, eyes dull and dead until some little part of him started begging for release, a smile or something!

The corner of his mouth twitched then twisted into a small smile that could have been a grimace if his mouth had been tugged just slightly tighter. Sora wouldn't have wanted him to behave so unemotionally, and though he didn't _feel _anything, it was still right to pretend. But Axel seemed almost horrified, peridot eyes widening to where the twin reverse tear drops tattooed beneath stretched. He seemed like he was going to speak again, and Roxas didn't want to deal with the subjects of his feelings, or lack thereof. Not now. "My name is Roxas."

Axel smiled and his jaw unclenched. "Knew that already, Roxy. Been watching our Key of Destiny, I have."

He had been the person who was Namine and not Namine with the flashing green eyes. He had saved Roxas from the doll. And he knew about everything that involved the Shadows, Roxas could tell. "Key of Destiny?" he repeated because he had to act curious. And Axel seemed ecstatic that Roxas was participating in the conversation.

"Exactly, my little blonde friend. However, the Superior will tell you that. And, you need to rest for now. But," and here he looked sheepish, "before you nod off and I abandon my watching duties in favor of heckling Demyx, I have a birthday present for you. Big one-four huh?" And out of one of his large pockets, Axel pulled out a little keychain with what looked like some kind of fruit thing attached to it.

"What is it?" Roxas asked softly, eyeing the little charm flatly.

"That, Roxas, is a promise." Axel smiled and rubbed Roxas's hair, and the blonde had the idea that maybe, he might have known Axel before, long ago. Then the freakishly tall man that Roxas might have known long ago was gone through the door, leaving Roxas to stare at his unexpected present.

_Happy Birthday – Nobody._

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**Perfect Image**: Chapter three was done later than expected simply because I wasn't quite sure how to incorporate an idea into it and Sora was acting like a little punk. Like I mentioned before, the next couple of chapters will probably be longer unless I decide to cut a few scenes out. Oh, and the charm will be given more attention in either the next chapter or the one after. I can, however, promise that chapter five will show exactly why this is a tragedy.

And, I'm thinking, that if I have enough material, I might just make a series out of this, working my way across the Kingdom Hearts characters that appeared in this and maybe showing their own roles in this story and how they got to their positions too. Of course, the number of chapters will be based off certain types of concepts (Roxas's was how he reminded me of a bitchy, moody cat that hates people in general – thus the proverb above; but I still love Roxas). I think Sora's might come from his Drive Forms, maybe. If I do a series, that is.

**Disclaimer:** The characters from Square Enix are not mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.


	4. Rising Sun

**Silhouette**

_**The Nine Lives of a Shadow**_

_By Perfect Image_

_Eleven to Twenty_

_Tick, tick, Boom--_

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_- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-_

_~English Proverb~_

_::Chapter Four::_

_Ages Fourteen to Fifteen_

_Rising Sun_

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Roxas was the Key of Destiny, and he had been marked as such ever since he was born. It might have been like a killer blow to his stomach, meant to make him spew chunks had he been unable to control his reaction to the simple truth: Sora was not his twin – but, he didn't feel anything. He had been born to serve the Nobodies back when Shadows that were later renamed Heartless had just started to think, the first that had been almost human if not for the darkness that constantly surrounded their bodies. Though they had been the first, their followers had slowly reverted to animalistic behavior until they were warped and cartoonish versions of their old selves.

The loss of a heart only sealed someone off from the light; it did not change them so completely that they turned into a separate creature entirely. The small toy-like Heartless had been created from the children and infants, while the ones that patrolled the castle Roxas now lived in were the best of the best – Upper Heartless dedicated to serving the Nobodies of their own free will and not because they were enslaved like the rest.

And, all together, the Nobodies – they who felt nothing because a seed of darkness had been implanted in their hearts, allowing them to live for hundreds of years without feelings or emotions and turning the weaker ones into twisted puppets while the stronger retained their human shapes and memories, even if they lost their hearts – and the Heartless were referred to as Shadows, because they were beings who dwelled in darkness, even if they had not been born there.

And Roxas was an entirely new type of Nobody because his mother had been used by the Nobodies that formed Organization XIII, and several experiments had resulted in an almost exact copy of Sora who could wield weapons long lost, implanted in her womb to grow along with Sora to where Roxas seemed to be his twin except for his blonde hair – hair that had been mistaken to be his mother's, though the gene that gave Sora brown hair had been switched to where Roxas received blonde in actuality. He was a clone that had been made as a preformed Nobody, emotionless to the degree that he was easy to control and at the same time willful enough that no one suspected a thing.

And his mother had known and offered him to the Nobodies when they decided to go after Sora, because they had forgotten of little Roxas – simmering quietly besides the bonfire that was Sora. It honestly didn't affect him that much. Xemnas, the Superior, had flipped the switch that had been the black box waiting inside Roxy's head and suddenly there was nothing. Certainly, there were memories of happiness though, and it was these that he turned to whenever speaking with Axel because the other did care for him, unlike the rest of the Organization.

Roxas had learned something from Axel though, something valuable and important in its simplicity. Nobodies, after a period of time, began to regain humanity. It was little flickers of emotions here and there, enough that now some of the more willful and defiant members could actually feel. This Axel the prankster explained with a cocky smirk on his face before scuttling out the door.

Roxas found out later that Xigbar had been targeted by Axel and was dusted in flour from the shoulders up. He also found out that Axel was good at placing the blame on others. Demyx, poor _blonde _Demyx, was limping rather badly the next day – the good natured musician scratching his head and explaining to Roxas that Axel was so bad that he got attacked by the other members often, regardless of whether he had wreaked havoc or not. The two blondes often hung out whenever Axel wasn't around because Roxas didn't think whenever the Melodious Nocturne was playing gentle music on his sitar.

He didn't really mess with the other members much though, they all being either ridiculously older or scary in appearance (this being directed at Zexion, since Roxas thought they might be close in terms of age, but he scared Roxas despite Demyx's assurances that Zexion wouldn't do anything to him). Instead, he went to an old abandoned town near their dark castle called Twilight Town. It was always dimly lit there, as if perpetually twilight. His guardians liked it too. They would dance around him as he sat on the edge of a large clock tower, staring down at the ground or up at the dying sun, waiting to be resurrected for another day before sinking again.

Roxas was always followed by Nobodies of the Lesser Rank called Samurai. They were proportioned in a way that Roxas might have found ridiculous at once. Now he just found it dull, as he did everything else. But, his emotions weren't consumed completely, as they had been with the others. No, he was a special kind of Nobody. There had been an operation conducted by Marluxia to implant the seed of darkness before Xemnas had intervened, telling the scythe-wielder that Roxas was a special case. Xemnas had simply swept dark matter into his soul, blotting the feelings out. Roxas could feel, if he tried hard enough. He just didn't want to.

-----

Roxas learned about the raids. They were made on small towns that had sprung up around the edges of the border walls of the City. They were spread far and wide, used as a line of defense. Those houses Roxas and Sora had seen when they had still been together had only survived so long because of the scapegoats that were the towns. It might have sickened Roxas had he felt anything for it, but he just found it mesmerizing the first time Axel took him raiding.

Buildings burned so beautifully, and the most amazing were the cathedrals – viewed from the inside and protected by Axel's abilities to control fire. The stained glass reflected upon the flames, casting them in blue and green and gold until the embers were like leaves as they floated down, only to dull to gray upon touching the ground. The buildings burned beautifully, but Roxas would always wrinkle his nose upon coming into contact with the smell of burnt flesh – Axel just grinned at him and said that it was the best smell in the world and Roxas should get used to it. Roxas politely declined to do such a thing.

Raids were conducted with around one to two Nobodies (the cloaked ones with the weapons and attitude, mind you) and a legion of Heartless. The Heartless were, more often than not, the little infants – with beady little gold eyes and weird antennas that were cute and a fattened body, squishy and soft and simple in its design. Roxas accompanied Axel and Demyx, tagging along behind with his Samurais also coming because he couldn't do anything by himself.

Axel loved it, and he would always tell Roxas this, smiling with pointed teeth that matched too well with the reversed tear drops under his eyes. Demyx, on the other hand, was not quite as enthusiastic. He did it because he had to, and his Dancers seemed just as annoyed as he did whenever they had to fight. Roxas could almost swear that he heard one huff in indignation one time when a citizen fleeing from the destruction called it an ugly abomination. They didn't take kindly to being insulted, it seemed, for Roxas passed the same man later, ripped to shreds and lying in a bloody mess right where the Lesser Nobody had caught up with him. That same Dancer had danced beautifully as Demyx washed the blood off it with his water powers, twirling and pivoting gracefully as scarlet drops spiraled downward.

Not all the smaller cities and towns were that way, though. Some groups were starting up, trying to rebel against the Organization's march to total domination – or whatever it was the Superior was after. Roxas didn't encounter them during a raid until he had been with the Organization long enough that some of the senior members were starting to take notice in him, Luxord having actually challenged him to a game of cards – which he lost after a few rounds, though Luxord was pleased that he had lasted that long anyway.

The first ones he fought were called Vaan and Reks and they were brothers in a way that was too close to how Roxas and Sora had been, backing up one another and taking blows for the other whenever one was close to being wounded severely – yelling out to one another and calling each others' names when they were separated. They sliced through his Samurais too easily, Reks taking the lead while Vaan stayed back to drink a vial of some liquid. Roxas was more than a little disturbed to find that the wounds upon his body disappeared, but then he was dodging left and right; he was running down alleys and trying desperately to find Axel because the fiery red-head would make them _burn_.

Reks caught up to him, slashing the tendon of one leg easily with red spurting everywhere, and Roxas fell down because his fucking leg wouldn't move. And it was quivering, so badly, and he was afraid for the first time in a long time. His eyes darted back to the two teenagers approaching him, Vaan covering ground quicker than his brother, and a savage light was glowing in his eyes and Roxas could almost feel his blood boiling as he lunged forward to strike Roxas through the chest and end it all. Roxas felt this heaviness in his pocket from where he kept two charms, one from Axel and the other from Sora – and one was an _X _and the other was a star-shaped fruit thing. They were the two most important people in his life and he would never see them again. Roxas closed his eyes to accept the blow –

– and Roxas felt weight in both of his hands and the gentle splash of water droplets hitting his face. Maybe, maybe just a dream – underneath a curtain of water? And he half-smiled and opened his eyes. Vaan was standing above him, sword raised in a striking position with a large silver Keyblade (Axel said later that it was called that) imbedded in his stomach. He hadn't felt the movement of his dark weapon, but the other Keyblade had swung in an arc and now the teenager's head lay so many feet away, face frozen in shock and hatred. The water droplets Roxas had mistaken to be from a shower were actually drops of blood from the wounds.

Then Reks cried out a choking sob that was twisted into some sort of war cry as he charged Roxas. The Nobody's mind blanked, and Oblivion (for that was the dark Keyblade's name) was pressed sideways against the still-standing corpse of Vaan, shoving the body off the Oathkeeper (and Roxas named it that himself, because it had not been called like Oblivion but rather created from half-feelings) before slicing both down vertically just as Reks struck. Steel clashed with magic-imbued metal and Oblivion glanced off the blade that Oathkeeper held, thirsting for the blood of another as it sheared the elder brother in half.

The two Keyblades clattered to the ground at Roxas's feet, and he watched disinterestedly as one by one the buildings surrounding him and the two corpses lit up. It was only when the fire began moving toward him that he searched for identity on the young men and found small scraps of paper that confirmed them to be who they were. The Keyblades disappeared after that, but Roxas knew they would come when called for he still felt their lingering weight in his hands – and he had seen the fruit thing and the _X_ (though it had been distorted into a black crown – representation of Sora's other half, no doubt) hanging upon the ends of the strange weapons.

-----

Roxas went into training after that. At first, he fought against Demyx in his practice battles. It was strange that he didn't fight Axel, he thought, since the two were best friends (well, as close to best friends as two Nobodies could get – though Roxas did smile more) as well as being generally partnered up no matter what. It was weird, how Roxas could counteract with a gentle reprimanding the firecracker that was Axel and effectively stop (or at least stall) his mischief.

Demyx was defeated by Roxas after only a few training sessions, and then he moved on to fighting Xaldin. When he defeated the lance-controller as well, Roxas was told to fight Axel. They were best friends, and Roxas heard the red-head complaining about how the Superior wasn't fair before Demyx called for them both to take up their stances. Then the sitar-player dropped his hand and the two met in battle.

Axel was fast and he moved with a liquid grace Roxas had never seen before. The ground underneath their feet became cooled magma with new lava boiling just below. A circle of fire surrounded Roxas and Axel was disappearing through the flames faster than Number XIII could think. Roxas twisted around, eyes darting back and forth as he searched for the lanky man. He only just saw the chakram out of one eye before the wicked spokes were slicing deep into his side and Roxas dropped down with a breathless gasp because that had felt worse than a thousand fires.

Out of tear-clouded eyes, Roxas barely saw its twin coming out of the flames as it wheeled back into them before his head snapped to the left, one sharp spike cutting through his cheek like it was paper and Roxas knew he would die because Axel was a berserker like Saïx just not as bad. He knew that if he had been fighting the lunar-obsessed man, he would be dead by now. But Axel would still kill him because no one could see him, wrapped up in a sphere of fire that was slowly drawing in on him.

But that wouldn't happen, couldn't happen. And Roxas struggled up just as Axel appeared out of the flames, chakrams gripped tightly in both hands and ready to end Roxas in one swoop – and Roxas knew now what happened to those who betrayed the Organization. The other, older Organization members might have been able to hold their own against him during training, but Roxas would not. Not unless he pulled his act together, and quickly.

Both the Oblivion and Oathkeeper were raised in a defensive stance, catching the chakrams before Axel could move them into an attacking position. Then, and his muscles burned, Roxas shoved Axel away a few steps. The tall man stumbled backwards, his feet regaining balance first and his body following and coiling like a snake's. And Roxas saw his weakness and knew how the others stopped him. He followed Axel, slamming the blunt ends of his Keyblades into the red-head's chest, making him cough and gag before cracking his head sharply against the ground that wasn't on fire anymore but simply the hard ceramic tiles when he crumpled down.

Apparently, they had all been watching, because above him stood the rest of the Organization members. And Roxas felt anger spike through him because _they would have watched him die_. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder and Roxas turned around to find that in reality neither Demyx nor Zexion had been up there, for Demyx was handing him a vial that looked similar to the one Vaan had used, and when he drank it, his wounds disappeared. Zexion was pouring a similar draught into Axel's mouth and then the rest of the Organization members were congratulating Roxas because he truly could hold his own. He wasn't exactly pleased when he learned both Demyx and Xaldin had not been giving their all when he fought them. And then he realized that he didn't care, and that potions (for they were what cured his wounds and such) could not stop him from scarring on his side.

It wasn't until later that same day, with the sky twilight and the castle a shadow, when Axel came. He said he had a killer headache and that Roxas didn't have to hit so hard, laughing hysterically and trying to relieve tension that existed on his side of the current. Then he sobered up because he could have killed Roxas and explained that around the Organization it was almost like there was another part of him – some savage beast that wanted to either dominate or be dominated.

And Roxas quirked a smile and asked softly if he had dominated Axel. The red-head smiled and said, yeah, he had. Then the two sat in silence until Axel asked to accompany Roxas to Twilight Town, a ghost town only just spared. He said that Axel could because it felt _right _and somehow the pyromaniac had wormed his way deeper into Roxas's not-so-sealed-off heart.

Later, as they watched the sky become alight with fire and gases and tranquility before fading to darkness, they ate sea-salt ice cream and Roxas smiled until his cheeks hurt. Honestly, Roxas had never felt more alive – and his past life became more and more of a distant memory belonging to someone else.

-----

Despite being called Organization XIII, in the middle of May they managed to acquire a fourteenth member – a female named Oni. Roxas could hear her screaming and it had never occurred to him until then that the operation to turn one into a Nobody might be painful. So he set down the book he had been reading and went off to find Zexion's lab, for he had been returned to his room, half-drugged, by a less-than-patient Xemnas. It took many twists and turns, for he was still not accustomed to the higher up levels, before he found the specific room where they were transforming her.

He was allowed entry after knocking quietly and asking for permission to come into the room. When Roxas came inside, it was for the very end of the operation where her body was covered in a thin white cloth with a few empty vials of Hi-Potion sitting beside her in a small silver basket. Xemnas and Zexion and Marluxia stood over her, and Marluxia was speaking softly to where Roxas could only hear a few words: "willful" and "new name" and "abilities" scattered throughout his sentences.

Roxas came closer, unbidden, and he watched as a dark shadow spread from the center of her chest underneath the cloth, cloaking her completely in darkness before the mark of both the Nobodies and the Organization appeared on the skin above her sternum and heart. Then it faded and the blackness bled off her, dripping down the edges of the table she lay on as if dead and slipping between the splits underneath, hissing and spitting as it went to be changed into a Heartless.

She groaned and breathed and Xemnas said her name was Xion and that Roxas and Axel would take care of her because everyone worked in pairs excluding the Superior himself so she would need someone to teach her the ropes. Then he was gone out the door Roxas had only just entered with Marluxia tailing him like a dog following its master and Zexion sighed and set to work putting his room back in order. Roxas watched the older Nobody until he smiled wryly and said Roxas should probably awaken the new Nobody.

He shook her shoulder gently at first, unsure if he should push for her return to consciousness harder. Then her eyes slid open, and (_she looked like Kairi_) she blinked once. A soft moan found its way past her lips, and Roxas drew closer – examining her and feeling something bubble up in his stomach at the remembrance of one of his friends who had been Sora's best friend. And that memory of Sora was faint and slipping but he chased after it and he might have had it. Except, she chose then to slam a half-formed fist against his chest, just barely missing his face as he jerked back.

And then she was growling and screeching and utterly feral. Zexion made a sound that reminded Roxas of a vague reprimand before easily sliding past her flailing limbs and injecting her arm with some sort of dark liquid. She hissed at that, and Roxas's head withdrew into the protection of his shoulders, he watching and waiting as Xion slowed down and then slumped back on the metal examination table, peacefully sleeping and no longer looking like a wildcat. Roxas stared at her form in shock then rubbed gently at his still-smarting chest, feeling a tiny bruise where she had hit.

Zexion drew in a deep breath before saying softly, "She's a new type of Nobody. The Superior is experimenting with how much free will (which creates better soldiers) we can give our newest members. If she doesn't calm down, Number VIII will have no choice but to execute her." And Roxas must have sucked in his own breath or something because Zexion added in a slightly kinder voice, "You're a long-term project. Number I won't get rid of you that easily, not now that you've proven your worth." And that made Roxas feel so much better (only not), but he didn't say anything and simply gathered the young woman in his arms and stumbled out of the room to deposit her into the newest room that had appeared on the floor above his own.

Xion liked him. She liked Axel too. Demyx was too annoying for her, and the rest were too emotionless. But Axel and Roxas were just right, and somehow she was able to slip into their lives and thoughts easily. They balanced each other, she explained. Despite being generally soft-spoken, topics that involved the compatibility of people were things that she discussed far too eagerly. And, she was neither exactly like Axel nor Roxas but a blend with a bit of spice added in for flavor. Of course, Axel ruined that with his stomach growling and Roxas rolled his eyes, secretly pleased that Xion could understand such things.

But, she was defiant. She was frantic. She was wild. Axel said that if she kept trying to run away the Superior would kill her. And Roxas thought, _No, no, she won't run away. She can't. _Roxas was her friend, and Axel was as well. Yet, yet, Axel was an adult and he could handle these things without showing weakness which was why Xemnas had picked him, chosen him to kill people first and foremost. Marluxia, Roxas learned, was a last resort – if Axel ever failed and died. But he never did.

Xion was going to get killed, Roxas knew this. She begged him to help her escape – to overthrow the Organization and help the people terrorized by them. And her blue eyes shined brighter than Sora's ever had, and Roxas would shush her with gentle hands and pouting lips. And then she would frown but drop the subject nonetheless. Because Roxas could make her do anything. Except stop running away – because she was stubborn as all hell. It was a delicate sort of situation. And Roxas liked that – because it was like a dangerous little secret that was harmless unless released upon the right sort of person. He shivered with the knowledge of it.

-----

Roxas had only heard little whispers and hushed voices when it came to the mentioning of a new group – dedicated to stopping the Organization completely and utterly. They were all of the older armies and peacekeepers reincarnated into one super-group. Those of the newer Shinra and those from the SOLDIER program and some just so utterly pumped full of Mako that they _glowed_ were a few of the people that consisted of the group. And then there were others, freelancers and mercenaries as well as those that were prodigies with their weapons.

When Roxas encountered this group for the first time, it reminded him vaguely of when he had fought Reks and Vaan. Only, he was stronger and Xion and Axel fought at his side. It was amazing and somewhat ironic that the fourteenth member of the Organization was the possessor of _the _Keyblade – the Kingdom Key. And she fought just like Roxas – always attacking and planning her next positions while she did follow-ups with her blocks. Axel didn't let any escape.

And they were attacked by hounds – the same type of hounds that had surrounded that newscaster so long ago – but their own Heartless creatures easily took them out. The more mechanical ones, glowing with Mako that fed their intelligence and life, were destroyed by the Lesser Nobodies – Dusks dancing around them before slapping them harshly with Samurais cutting them to pieces.

They were in one of the larger towns, and here defenses were strong. Somehow, Xion and Axel were separated from Roxas. Not that he minded – he simply sliced through building after building with his Keyblades whenever the path he took became blocked. Then there was this call from above and suddenly the ground before him was alight with magic fire – a different kind entirely from Axel's own. A large brunet came hurtling off the building above, sweeping his blade down in one smooth stroke.

Roxas dodged out of the way, eyes darkening as he took up a defensive stance a few yards away. The older man, moving with the experience of someone ancient (though he couldn't have been more than twenty, maybe a few years older) and timeless, began to circle Roxas wearily, blade horizontal. He moved with the motivations of a killer, but one who did so only out of necessity. He looked tired and Roxas was surprised he didn't see wrinkles from stress and a lack of smiling – but he did see the long, thin scar that crossed his face, barely missing his right eye.

And they might have met in combat except that then Roxas heard two voices. One belonged to Xion, hurrying up behind him with her Keyblade ready to strike. The other belonged to someone he thought never to see again, calling out "Leon!" in a way that was anxious and worried and _where was that quiet calm? _Roxas turned away from Xion's voice and toward the other's, knowing who he would see as the named man also turned to observe the newcomer.

Cloud pulled up short, eyes freezing on Roxas, and he sucked in such a breath that Roxas actually smiled. He turned to face the elder blonde more fully, drawing one arm out by his side in a gesture for Xion to stop. Cloud seemed shocked and happy and so completely lost with the present situation that Roxas started laughing – loudly. What had happened to Cloud in that time that he had been away?

"Oh, Cloud, it's been so long, huh?" Roxas panted as he continued to laugh in a choking way – horrified and amused all at the same time to where his laugh was a rough parody of a laugh because he felt _terrible_. "Hey, how's Sora doing?" And then he paled suddenly, amusement falling away so completely and flatness left in his eyes. "You need to leave, now."

And Cloud stared at him until Roxas's patience snapped and he threw the Oblivion Keyblade at Cloud, the older man flinching back as though he had been burned. It clattered across the ground, making a noise that frayed Roxas's nerves because he didn't want to see Cloud dead. He would not see Cloud die, damn it. He silently called the Oblivion back to his hand and this time took aim with it. The dark Keyblade sliced through the air, whistling before screeching as it met a tall skyscraper, sliding through it cleanly and returning like a boomerang to Roxas's hand.

Just as it entered his palm, Roxas threw the Oathkeeper, sending it at an angle to where it met the already weakened building and sent it tumbling down directly in Cloud's path, cutting him off completely. Then that man, Leon, was snarling some sort of obscenity and Roxas was meeting his gunblade (that's what it was) with the Oblivion screaming for its twin. Leon must have forgotten about Roxas's ability to call back his weapons, because Oathkeeper was causing Leon to grunt in pain as it dug deep into his back before disappearing with fading stars of magic and returning to Roxas's hand with another small explosion in the next second.

And Leon might have died but Xion called out and Roxas stepped nimbly aside to avoid a dark-haired man with a sword come striking out at him from nowhere. He shoved the man with the heel of his hand, pushing him into Leon and causing him to cry out "Hey!" before Roxas had hold of Xion and was dragging her away from the two. He vaguely heard the reunion of Cloud and the others (because it wouldn't take long for Cloud to find a way past the building) and shouts of his name. But if he looked back, went back, either he or Cloud would be dead. That couldn't happen, so he chose to run.

-----

After that, he returned back to the Organization and Xemnas decided that he couldn't be left with memories of times past. Rather, he would not remember the days gone by until at least a week later. So Roxas didn't remember Cloud until a week had passed, and he could only remember. His body was controlled by a nothing that could not think for its self. Wrapped up in memories, Roxas was detached from his body and barely grasped his mind from time to time.

Xion became upset, so upset. She begged Axel to fix it, to fix him. Roxas was a mindless zombie that would stare at her blankly with no spark of life or anything. And, Xion knew that she would gain a similar fate if Xemnas ever discovered her attempts at getting Roxas to rebel. So, she ran one last time. On the night that she left, she said goodbye to Roxas one more time, and Roxas stared at her and said nothing.

Axel came in later, told Roxas that he was going to get Xion, with none of the exasperation that he normally showed, and all the soberness of a priest about to perform an exorcism. Then, he too left Roxas alone, to be watched by Demyx and taunted (to no avail) by Larxene. When Axel came back, without Xion (and Roxas only noticed this later), he said nothing, just sighed and ruffled Roxas's hair and said he was lucky to be cloaked in memories of the good days. And later, Roxas would think bitterly that Axel was wrong – when most of his memories were bad.

The latest memory was the worst though – Xion was dead, killed by Axel. And Xemnas had shown her body to the whole Organization, to show what happened to traitors. She looked like she was sleeping, except that she wasn't. There was no blood, because Axel had been gentle and quick about it. Then Xemnas smiled pityingly at Roxas and removed Roxas from his memories, dumping him back into his body.

And the youngest Nobody was almost crying, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes because he knew that Xemnas expected him to cry and show emotion. Axel dragged him away, and Roxas didn't see Xion's body again. He just sat in Axel's room, hollow-eyed and completely dead inside; with not even a flicker of life except for the shallow breaths he expelled and took in every so often. The red-head watched him sympathetically but did nothing to comfort Roxas because he felt as bad as the blonde, Roxas could see it reflected in his peridot eyes.

Then Roxas started talking, rambling, because it felt good to talk and he needed to ask Axel questions and get answers and just say some things both to be spiteful and because he felt them to be true. He first asked a question and it was: "Do you have those tattoos because you can't cry for everyone you've killed?" And Axel shook his head sadly and said that it was a constant reminder because tears weren't enough to wash away a Nobody's sins.

Then Roxas laughed quietly and stood up, because he felt sick and he didn't want to talk anymore because the answers were too confusing and he might just puke. And the world lurched terrifyingly to where he cursed softly. When everything wasn't spinning anymore, Roxas dragged himself to the door, stopping to say that no one would miss him, the same way no one would miss any of the other Nobodys when they were gone. And Axel regained some of his color as he replied fiercely that such a thing wasn't true.

Then Roxas gave him a sort of pitying smile and said that yeah, it was. And he left to return to his room because now that he could remember with his memories no longer scrambled and mixed but in the right order he would try to commit every aspect of Xion to memory. After that, he would get to work on doing the same with Cloud and – his heart leapt to think about it – Sora as well. Because he was a terrible excuse for a person (even if he wasn't one) and they all deserved some part of his mind. If he had time and if his brain didn't start to hurt, he would do that for the rest as well.

-----

Xion had told him once that the memories that he held were his best friends. And Roxas began to remember everything, struggled to remember everything. Except Sora – because Sora was the one person he didn't want to remember him. Sora would be ashamed to see him like this: a cracked, breaking version of his younger brother.

He imagined Namine first, how he would explain what he was. She would nod and give that faint half-smile that made him love her because she understood. And then she would invite him to sit down, relax – recover from his painful experiences while she drew. He would close his eyes; she would giggle quietly and say that he looked almost like a little chick – with his blonde hair – and he would wrinkle his nose because obviously she was lying so completely that it wasn't even funny except that it kinda was and he would smile. They would be all right, because that was how the two fit.

Then he would tell Hayner. The spaz would probably puff his cheeks out and say that Roxas was crazy. Then he'd grin and start going on about random shit that no one cared about and Roxas would snort in annoyance because the teenager was always like that. Then, they'd somehow get on the topic of Roxas's fighting capabilities and Hayner would challenge him to a fight to completely erase all bad feelings from him.

Pence and Olette would confront him together, because they played off of each other to get the same amount of energy that Hayner generated. Olette would be down to earth in her approach, smiling and nodding in a way reminiscent to Namine's reaction, except that Olette wasn't quite as powerful in her words. Then Pence would pep her up with his own added outbursts that were like a watered-down version of Hayner's own. And they would accept him just as easily as Hayner and Namine had.

After that would be Kairi, and she would stand there – staring at him with her hands on her hips like he was stupid or something. And when he ran out of words and just watched her shoes she would huff with exasperation and say that he was silly because everyone made mistakes and would continue to make them. Then he would point out that his wasn't just some little thing like accidently eating all the cake before the birthday party or something like that. Then she would shake her head and say that he was making a mountain out of a molehill. And he would point out that he _killed_ two people, and she would remind him that if he hadn't they would have killed him. She'd pet him on his head and tell him to think on it because everything was all right.

Riku would be after Kairi and he would treat Roxas like a clone of Sora – and he was – but he didn't have the same personality. So Roxas would balk underneath Riku's careless tones and the whole "everyone can forgive you" because that was Sora, not him. But then, Riku would come to his senses. Then he'd add kindly that really, Roxas and Sora were different people but Roxas was stronger and he'd be able to handle this and move on. And Roxas would feel better because it was like he was implying that Roxas was better at something than Sora when they had almost always been the same.

And Sora would – but Sora didn't need to see him anymore so – Cloud would say that it wasn't his fault. Roxas would say that it was. Then Cloud would roll his eyes and say that if he wanted to believe that, he could. However, he needed to make sure that the guilt didn't burden him down. And by now, Roxas could see Cloud's expression so perfectly that it was almost comical, when compared to how Cloud had looked just recently. He revised his vision of Cloud to where it was instead hugging him to death and started chuckling because he knew that Cloud had only reacted like that because of everything that had been happening. Cloud would most likely kill him if he ever got to hear about how Roxas thought he would react.

And Roxas sorted through his memories until he came upon another bite of information. He was fifteen today and without any smoke or candles or cake or anyone to celebrate it with, Roxas settled down on his bed, swinging his feet back and forth as he watched the carpet. "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to you: Roxas, Sora, happy birthday to us…"

_Happy Birthday – Moon and Sun._

_

* * *

  
_

**Perfect Image**: Due to a loss of three pages worth of work and an unexpected addition, this chapter was also out later. The next one will probably be out by Sunday _if _I'm not extremely busy. The consensus says that I will be, but nothing's impossible.

I'm sorry about Reks and Vaan dying. I kinda needed two brothers though and they were the first ones I thought of. As for Leon, Cloud, and Zack (yeah, that was Zack) – well, Zack was supposed to be wounded instead of Leon, but the circumstances wouldn't allow it. And Xion…oh geeze…I'm currently psyching myself out. I have no clue if I did her correctly or not (I only have so much to go on until the actual game comes out), but I knew she had to die before Roxas could see Sora again. Umm, yeah, next chapter Roxas meets Sora again…you'll all hate me. I can guarantee that right now. Happy Turkey Day, by the way.

**Disclaimer:** The characters from Square Enix are not mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.


	5. Burn Out

**Silhouette**

_**The Nine Lives of a Shadow**_

_By Perfect Image_

_Eleven to Twenty_

_Tick, tick, Boom--_

* * *

_- For three he plays, for three he strays, and for the last three he stays-_

_~English Proverb~_

_::Chapter Five::_

_Ages Fifteen to Sixteen_

_Burn Out_

* * *

Roxas lost Xion, gained a purpose, and made up with Axel. Life was a good as it would ever get, and the young Nobody continued to remember in secret. He slowly regained control over those memories from times long past and worked his way toward the present. He remembered the teddy bear, given to a five-year-old Sora by his younger brother (who wasn't his brother) when his own was lost at school, forgotten in a cubbyhole that was cleared out when they went to school the next day. He remembered his mother (the bitch who had done this to him, to Sora) smiling at him and making cookies, because she loved to bake.

And then he shut down that train of thought, because it strained his consciousness, to do such things. The Superior had done something to the Nobodies, whenever he flicked the switch and enveloped them in darkness. The memories were vague, and the visuals were often confusing and blurred – like a dream of something seen through another's eyes. The words were muted, as if heard from underwater, and the general mood of it was accented by a deep, continuous ba-_bump._ The main thing was, he noticed, that the feelings he had experienced at that time were subdued, barely there and – and they were shrouded.

Roxas could hardly contain the ice-cold chill that spread across his senses, because that hatred had never been locked away – fickle and always fighting against the darkness. Nobodies could regain feelings lost in the process of becoming Shadows by using memories of those same feelings to dictate their actions. However, and Roxas shoved against the darkness that scattered his snapshots of times gone past, this shroud had to have been produced by Xemnas to keep the feelings out and far away.

In fact, they all must have known. Because he had asked, had asked them all if there was anyway to get the memories back during a time of weakness and confusion after Xion died. And only Axel had refused to answer (the others all saying there was no way, though they all had fragments of feelings) and shook his head with a quizzical smile on his face, as if asking why Roxas didn't see the answer, right there in front of him. But, he could do nothing – already under watch constantly by the Superior, even his mind having been infiltrated whenever he first came and the switch flipped to relieve him of all feelings (even if they were locked in memories).

Roxas, whenever he wasn't out on raids, focused upon two objectives. The first was beating all of the Organization members in combat, learning to predict their moves and utilizing the elements around him. The second was the more important of the two, though he would need to accomplish the first one before the second. His main goal, his wish and what he strove for, was to remember everything. To regain memories and feelings to where he was a Somebody again. To where he was not Organization Number XIII or the Key of Destiny. He wanted to be Roxas, fully and utterly, from his core outward until everyone knew him as Roxas.

He wanted to be the Roxas who had gotten married to Sora when they were six, wanted to be the dressed-in-white-bride. The blonde wanted to be wheels rolling down the pavement before hitting air and flipping in the sky, carrying a body of electric space and heated flesh. Roxas wanted to be a normal child, no longer bound by the rules of the Organization. He wanted to have friends named Axel and Namine, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, Cloud and Sora, Kairi, Riku, and everyone that they had met while he was away – trapped in the Castle Oblivion (and he found it funny that the castle was named after his dark Keyblade that had existed since the dawn of time, with nicks sprinkled across its neck and rough around the handle) then later the Castle that Never Was. Because, during his time trapped in his memories, Castle Oblivion had been destroyed by a traitor. It didn't take Roxas long to piece together the facts and realize that it had been Xion.

Roxas wanted to be someone, something. And he remembered, finally, the day he became a silhouette. Roxas decided he wanted to be that silhouette again, draw on yet another mask and another identity. He wanted to learn more of the Shadow that had been a traitor, so long ago. One of the ones who had rejected the Organization's rule and fought back. He knew because he had seen all the Scouts before, the ones who alerted the Superior about news in the City (and Gods, it had been forever since Roxas had been there, safe and ignorant to all but his own troubles) and traveled the plains outside the walls, searching for new towns that had cropped up.

He went to the Dusks. They were the weakest of the Lesser Nobodies, but they respected Roxas as they did all the Organization members. It had shocked him, when they first spoke to him during one of his training exercises (because Xemnas was pushing him harder, harder, _get stronger and beat –_ who?), yet he had quickly learned that all Nobodies could speak to him; nevertheless only a few could formulate opinions. Such was the case with the Dusks; they had been around the longest, and they had been the first. Besides that, those Nobodies that committed pardonable crimes could be transformed to Dusks, via a technique that only the Superior knew – he who was like a god among them, if only because of his extensive knowledge.

When he went to them, those that constantly patrolled the castle (and it wasn't far from where the ruins of Castle Oblivion had once stood, cloaked in an expanse of trapped twilight and infinite darkness), he found the Dusks waiting for him, walking around him in a continuous circle until one broke away from the circle and drifted up behind him, bending like the flexible nothing that it was to come face to zippered face with him and hiss, "So you have come, my liege."

Roxas twisted away from underneath it, and the Nobody chuckled along with its companions – the lead one settled down on his feet, and the rest stopped around the two. Then the lead Dusk made a soft shushing sound and stalked closer. The others all abruptly stiffened and Roxas stood tall because he knew it would not hurt him. "My liege," the Dusk said, "wants to know of something that other deities shall not tell him; is it not true, my lord?"

"No," Roxas spat, "I've already learned of that." And the Dusks whispered to one another, swaying once more as their chief calmly stalked around him, sizing Roxas up with its zipper mouth opening and closing over and over. Then Roxas sighed and his Samurais, who had been waiting patiently farther away, slid closer, dropping into dual stances because the Lesser Nobodies worked together only because of the Organization and didn't trust each other. Roxas cast them disgusted glances before growling out, "I want to learn about a Scout I saw before; it was a gray cat with blood on its muzzle."

If anyone else had given such a description to anything other than the Lesser Nobodies, they would have most likely been given a long list of names because only the Scouts were unique – they had to be, one for each different type of situation. When Roxas said that, the Nobodies all grinned at one another, hissing in glee and wobbling giddily. "The traitor, the traitor," they chanted, "our liege wishes to speak of the traitor." The lead Dusk swam in close, sliding through the air like it was space and stars and no gravity whatsoever.

The Dusk settled down before him, bending so low it seemed like it was deflating before springing back up to its full size. "The traitor had no name; we simply called her Blue. The traitor destroyed hundreds of the red-bloods. However, we blue-bloods stopped her before she could move on to us. During one of her scoutings, she heard those rebels speaking and decided that she could face down m' lords and ladies alone. She was destroyed utterly, my liege." Roxas stared at the Dusk, allowing the words to sink in and trying to draw a conclusion from what information he had gathered. However, the only thing that stood out in his mind was what the Dusk had said.

"Blue-bloods?" he asked, because he had never heard of such things before and besides that, he bled red. The Dusks regarded him pityingly, as if he was utterly ignorant and he repeated his question with considerably more coldness – once more Number XIII, known for killing without regret. Then they hissed warningly and one Dusk stepped forward to stand beside its companion. It flashed forward and Roxas felt a chilling cold rip through his veins and saw the blood bubbling up from the scratch – except it was blue?

He blinked and rubbed a finger against it, watching it become stained cobalt, with lines of sapphire tracks from where the blood had thus spread (for it seemed that these blue-bloods were designed differently). It stung slightly, but the pain was numbed and icy and – that wasn't his blood. It was some weird mutation of his blood, and Roxas seemed so horrified that the Dusk that had struck him and revealed the truth fled in terror. The leader watched it go before huffing slightly and gliding closer.

"You have been changed later than most, my liege. I fear the Superior did not quite believe you would be able to use your abilities to help us, at first. However, the day Number XIV died and you regained most of your memories," and Roxas wasn't going to ask how the Dusk knew this – they just _did_, "the Superior decided you were ready to bleed blue like the rest of the Nobodies, like us and your companions. Number XIV also bled red, however, she never proved herself. My liege, it is this blue blood that gives us our life and blocks such troublesome feelings."

Roxas lopped off the Nobody's head because he was sick of it talking. It was a gentle hit, not one to destroy it and scatter it into a million pieces of twilight. And Roxas watched in fascination as the zippered head went flying one way, already dissolving back into particles of light, and the body spurted blue blood like a fountain before also disintegrating. Then its companions flipped out and charged Roxas, which was a bad idea since his Samurais were on them and slicing them to pieces.

The Nobodies bled blue because of something the Superior did, something that had to do with the heart. And, it made sense, Roxas supposed – the blue blood circulated through the heart, thus destroying any feelings that might be hiding there. The shroud was there to destroy memories of feelings, but Roxas had been so emotionless because he was in shock at first, and simply being around others like him had set off the switch that had been hidden inside all that time, waiting to be flipped and to send him into oblivion. The blue blood also allowed the Nobodies to live longer, and it could heighten their senses and produce different hormones such as those that could cause Axel to go berserk.

In the end, Roxas realized, the blue blood was living and alive and part of something else – what had brought about the beginning of the blue blood that traveled within every Nobody. It had to have been something Xemnas did, something he created before the Shadows were created – something he was working on before that. Xemnas was the master puppeteer in the end, Roxas realized. Even Marluxia was like a child plotting to steal cookies when compared to Xemnas, a man utterly consumed by the need for complete command of the world, a tyrant who was settled in a time period when anything and everything was possible.

-----

Roxas couldn't do anything about Xemnas or the Organization, though. He could only get stronger and hope that one day he might be able to escape their clutches completely. It mattered little to him whether or not the Nobodies succeeded in their world domination scheme so long as he was not bothered and could live a normal life. One might have said that he lacked ambition, but the truth was that Roxas was just so tired. Simply overcoming a whole legion of Shadows and fleeing to a place where they could never find him would drain away all of his strength. Completely destroying the Organization should be left to a group of rebels, ready to die.

Of course, if Sora decided to join them (and he might because he had seen the Shadows and was stupid and stubborn like that) then Roxas would have no choice but to fight. Duty to his elder brother outweighed any feelings of fatigue that might torment him. Because, with memories restored came feelings restored, and Roxas was somewhat snippy, somewhat prickly. But, at the same time, he felt calmer. With no heart and no emotions, one was vulnerable in the worst of ways. There was no way to form opinions, and any decisions were based upon the here and now and not the future where owed favors might save a life.

Roxas was often accompanied by Axel after that, the red-head's Assassins sliding around the air surrounding Roxas's Samurais. Xemnas must have heard of Roxas's destruction of the Lesser Nobodies and decided that the blonde couldn't be left alone. Roxas wouldn't argue with that; he felt that he might have been slipping at some points because sometimes he wondered about whether or not his training was worth it, whether his remembering was ever going to amount to anything except an ache to see his brother and friends.

He was deteriorating from loneliness, and in the end, even Axel couldn't draw him out of the funk that was slowly settling over him far too easily. The Superior must have noticed that Number XIII was wasting away and no one could do anything. Because, he drew Roxas to him and said that if Roxas waited he would soon see his brother once more. And Roxas was in shock, that his leader would let him see Sora again. But he was so happy, and he was told that Axel and Demyx would accompany him because some of the Shadows (mostly Heartless) were turning rogue and attacking anyone and anything.

So, Roxas was sent on raids everyday after that. At first, he felt confused – had the Superior not said he would see his brother? But, then he realized that this was Xemnas's way of trying to find Sora. If Roxas could find Cloud once more, or any of them, he would be able to go from them to Sora and everything would be all right. And the raids were hard.

Now, the group set against the Organization (Kingdom Hearts or something similarly stupid) was growing in power and they were _everywhere._ Once, Roxas fought against a blonde with tattoos criss-crossing his face, another time he faced down a woman that acted like Cloud, only her hair was strawberry blonde and she used guns – something that he hated. Probably the worst fight, though, was against a man with black hair and red eyes, a claw and a freaking big gun. Even after Roxas knocked the gun out of his hands (but not before taking two hits to his arm and chest, respectively) he retaliated by slashing his gauntlet-encased arm across Roxas's chest and spewing blue blood everywhere. Of course, that caused him to pause in shock which allowed Roxas to send him crashing into a nearby building.

No, it wasn't easy, and by the end of a month, Roxas was covered in scars from where even the best medicine failed to heal him completely. But Roxas was so strong now; he had defeated Vexen and Saïx at the same time, and all knew and respected him. However, his luck had finally changed, for Axel came to him with a sad smile on his face and said that Xemnas knew where Sora was. Then Dancers and Assassins swam around his Samurais and Roxas thought he might be happy for once in a long time.

-----

It was raining, and Roxas was ready to dive into the abyss. Axel and Demyx had gone different ways because he could handle himself with Oathkeeper and Oblivion at his side, forever and ever. His Samurais were easily slashing through rogue Heartless, the first he had seen since Xemnas told him of them. Their voices screeched across his ears and made his insides bleed, because they were wild. They were running wild and the skyscrapers in this city were so _tall_ because the Organization had missed it, somehow, someway.

But Roxas could feel it; there was darkness here, dismal midnight kept outlining the entire city until it was removed entirely from view. The animalistic Shadows could find it though, had found it. The sky was darkened from bruises made by humans and it chose to reveal them to those that wished their destruction, bleeding crystal blue – lighter than the blood of the Nobodies, but darker than Roxas's eyes in the pitch of it. They were fucking _neon _with the need to find Sora.

The Shadows were focusing upon one skyscraper in particular, one that held a man at the top – and Roxas didn't need to throw his hood back to see that it was a ghost from the past. He simply wondered as some of the Heartless turned on him. Then he was twisting and turning and his dear _friends _were humming, purring – because they followed no laws except their own, and they were ready to be offered rushing bleakness and twisted crimson.

Roxas slammed Oathkeeper through one, violently ripping it in half to where it had no time to bleed, rather being forced into dark pieces of nothing that faded within a second. Roxas shuddered with the recoil before throwing Oblivion high in the air, raining red mixed with darkness and gray-blue as it destroyed perhaps ten of the rogues. But they were forever coming, and Roxas felt his cloak grow heavy upon his person as his strokes became heavier. Muttering a quick spell that Axel had taught him, Roxas felt replenished and saw that the damned figure was still there, head turned slightly to the side and water blurring his features in a way no shroud ever could.

"Riku," he hissed the name like a curse because there was a wall separating them, different paths chosen and being made through grass far too tall to struggle past to the other. He smirked for a second as he came to the foot of the skyscraper, and then his back was stiffening, legs burning as he flew up the side of the building, Keyblades destroying those Heartless that followed. And then Riku was gracefully going down the side of the building, and Roxas threw Oblivion at him because he couldn't do this alone.

The other caught it, and even as he traveled down and Roxas headed up, the blonde's eyes followed him. It was stupid, Roxas thought, to hide from the darkness because it was a part of everyone and rejecting it was like rejecting yourself. Embrace it and you accepted yourself, though Roxas was loath to accept his present self. Because of this, Roxas reached the top of the building and pivoted on it, twisting his ankle to where he thought it might crack before plunging after Riku's silver-on-black-and-alabaster form and allowed the darkness to overcome him.

Then, it was simply the sound of Keyblades crashing through half-formed beings and puddles being violently displaced every time a black-soled shoe or boot came down into them. Oathkeeper was light in Roxas's hand, and Oblivion moved like a feral version of itself underneath Riku's hands. Then the silver-haired man brought up a hand and darkness was blotting out the Shadows and Roxas knew who had made the veil upon the city, now ruptured as Roxas called upon Light – sending pillars of the energy flying this way and that like out of control chess pieces. It was a new trick, one he had learned while fighting Vexen and Saïx and he had never used it against an actual opponent until now.

He didn't know Heartless could burn and scream, mouths bubbling with ebony-scarlet drops of insides and outsides mixing. But they did whenever the light statues or spheres came into contact with their body and he heard Riku curse softly, back-to-back with one another. And then it was over and the raindrops were falling in a rhythm not unlike the death symphony that accompanies any tragedy. And Roxas heard it, the soft ba-_bump_ and the gentle taps of fists against door and shattering glass. It was the sound of being kissed into a coma and dying from a love so pure it was the essence of sin.

The Nobody shuddered, and their roles crashed back into place. Riku spun away from Roxas, the ends of the blindfold around his head whipping him gently. And Oblivion keened as it was dropped, only to be rescued from crashing to the muddy, watery grave that was the ground as Roxas called it back. Then Riku was drawing forth what had to be a Keyblade mockery, and Roxas had to feint to the left to avoid its oncoming attacks.

When it came down in a move meant to split him straight down the dotted line, Roxas barely caught the slick blade that wasn't the same as his two, was a bat wing stretched taut, with this horrid blue eye that wasn't like his, would never be like his. Then Riku was sliding from his standstill, the same he had used to catch others before and swung out at Roxas's remaining Samurais, they having been scouting the area for more rogue Heartless, returned to die for their masters. Roxas heard them give soft moans before they shattered and he was alone.

They had been his, and he had watched over them, protected them. To have the Samurais wiped out so completely too where none were left and if he wanted more they would have to find more strong hearts with which to make them – it made Roxas feel betrayed and Oblivion rattled with need, and Oathkeeper begged to cut into Riku, just a tiny little slice to coat silver with russet. And Roxas scolded the blade in his mind because the handle would be tainted with rust then, and Oathkeeper seemed to reply back that it fed off the blood, always washed it off.

Roxas finally, reluctantly, agreed and Oblivion dropped to shoot Oathkeeper high above Roxas to where his arm that was attached to the silver Keyblade ached, and then it came to a shattering conclusion on Soul Eater (Oblivion said it was that, and Roxas knew that the blade of Time's End knew eternity's secrets) to where the bat wing cracked then screamed as it fell to pieces, and the sword that had tried to match a Keyblade's power was no more.

Roxas drew back cleanly as Riku went completely still in defeat. Oblivion and Oathkeeper stared in triumph at their ruined foe and Roxas watched Riku through too-wet bangs that looked almost silver in the glimmering, flickering light of midnight rushing away to return to the sky and regain the night from the twilight. Roxas was ready to ask Riku where Sora was, because his brother had been at the back of his mind since the start of their alliance and later battle.

Roxas might have spoken and revealed himself as a friend but hurried footsteps and a gasp of "Riku!" (And wasn't that too similar to when he had last met Cloud?) sent Roxas sprawling away. A brunet in black and blue and red with crosses here and there stood before the defeated teenager, and Roxas slid back further, his blades quivering – Oblivion more so than Oathkeeper because its motif was the crown of Sora's necklace painted pitch black. Then Sora was hissing "Organization XIII" with the voice of a stranger and – cruel, cruel irony. To pit two brothers against one another was Fate's joke, but to make it to where twin blades fought as well was deepest despair and harshest betrayal.

When Sora dropped into a defensive stance, clothes of before shifting to clothes of twilight, Roxas's Keyblades appeared in his hand. Except, they weren't. Oblivion had minor differences from its counterpart that lay in Sora's hand, the largest being the huge scratch across the guard from where someone had tried to break contact between Master and Keyblade. Oathkeeper, however, was silver in Roxas's palm and white in Sora's. There was confusion and then Sora acted spontaneously in that infuriating way that he did – that he was known for.

Sora slashed his blades at Roxas, and the younger nearly fell in his haste to get away. Because he wouldn't fight his brother, would never do such a thing. He had to run only – something made him circle back, and he realized that now was the time for a resolution. Roxas was a copy of Sora, with only minute differences. Either Roxas would have to fade from existence, or the original would have to be changed.

Sora fought with the need to kill, and Roxas realized that time apart had been well spent on both parts – neither Roxas nor Sora gave an inch as they danced across the battlefield that had once been an ordinary square in an ordinary city. Except, that with Roxas, nothing was ordinary and his eyes narrowed to slits as Sora seemed to disappear into the water only to return out of nowhere and slash both of his weapons deep into the other's skin. The scream that ripped from Roxas's throat as he literally felt the skin peeled away left him weak and panting, regarding Sora with weary malice.

Self-preservation was the largest instinct ever implanted within a person, real or not, original or copy. Family members mean nothing in a fire, and often it's every man for his self when shipmates jump deck. When you don't see someone for almost two years, your love fades and becomes a memory. Roxas was discovering all of this, and in the heat of the moment he made a choice between Roxas and Sora. It was an easy choice, and he felt guilty afterwards, more than guilty, horrible. But, if he had chosen the other option offered, the story would close now.

Roxas chose himself over Sora, and when the brunet drew back to draw his breath and regain his grip on reasoning, Roxas was after him. The blonde was faster, was like a cockroach. No matter how many blows Sora scored, Roxas was still able to deal twice as many, even if they were weaker. Because, it didn't matter – Roxas wasn't going to die and even if the asphalt was sprinkled with blue diamonds of liquid he kept going on. Then Sora did something stupid.

The older twin tried to bring his blades together on Roxas's waist in a pincer movement. And the Nobody took that split second before the blades met skin to send cold onyx into colder cloth, into heated skin, past pulsing muscle, digging through bone, opening daylight on a heart that didn't deserve such a thing. Roxas choked, because Sora finally recognized him – the blades cutting deep into his sides had sent a large enough shock through the blonde that his hood had come off.

"Too late," Roxas forced out, hoarse and damn his sides were killing him. But he had won! He had won against Sora and…the other wasn't moving, and his electric blue eyes were going dull, peaceful with this quizzical smile on his face. "Found ya, Roxy. Finally did…" He slumped against Roxas because there was something wrong with Oblivion – _his_ Oblivion because Sora's Oathkeeper and Oblivion were gone from his sides and he was once again spurting blue blood. But…

Sora, who had given him the necklace with the _x_ that unlocked Oblivion, was gone. His breathing was ended in only a few seconds as the heart had been done for too long, and the brain was dead which meant the whole body was dead and – it just didn't seem possible because Sora couldn't die, damn it. And by Roxas's own hands, using the Oblivion and he could have done something else, anything else. Roxas gave a half-sob and shrunk away from his elder twin, because they were both on the ground but Sora wouldn't be getting back up.

Then, Oblivion snapped his gaze away from his dead brother, with a high whine that made Roxas cringe and Oathkeeper return to its place, hidden far away. Cracks appeared on Oblivion because the magic that had melded it and brought it forth to protect Roxas had run out with Sora's death, and the Organization would win in the end because Sora had been the savior – Roxas just knew this. And Oblivion severed into pieces, crying for its lost brethren because Roxas knew Sora's would not come back.

Roxas thought, and he thought he needed a memory at a time like that, utterly dysfunctional in his ways, but the message was clear. Oblivion reunited, converging into an entirely new Keyblade, made for Roxas in a way that Oblivion and Oathkeeper hadn't been. Theirs had been ancient magic, and one had been called while the other had been awakened. This new Keyblade reflected Roxas though, and it was called Two Across. The keychain motif was the _X_ from the necklace Sora had given Roxas, and when Roxas saw Riku slip away with Sora's body to be replaced by Axel and Demyx, _he knew._

-----

Oathkeeper came back, to fight beside Two Across (the Keyblade that represented Sora and Roxas united and together forever at last in the worst of ways – because Roxas could never wash the blood off his hands). They destroyed everything. Roxas would bring down the Organization because he had killed the one ray of light that might have broken it. He started with Number XII and worked his way down.

Of course, it wasn't long before the members sent hordes of Shadows to stop him. The thing was, you see, he had stopped caring. Nothing mattered, not wounds, not people; it was all about destroying what had ruined him, and Roxas was pitiless in his efforts. Larxene was pretty enough to eat, but he wasn't that far gone, not yet. The wolves got her, the rogues that had followed his example. She was screaming as they tore her to bits, and Roxas was laughing because he was the killing machine the Superior had wanted, dangerous and crafty – but Roxas was working against him, destroying everything and leaving his tracks everywhere because any one who followed him would _die_.

This is what he told Axel when the older was stupid enough to do just that. Axel smirked and said Roxas had broken the rules. Then he quickly switched to sorrow, and Roxas could taste it in the air – breathing deep the smell of bitter disappointment as well. "The Organization will send me to kill you," Axel said. And Roxas grimaced because that had happened to Xion, and they both knew Axel would try to kill Roxas, even if he didn't succeed in the end.

"I don't care," Roxas said back then added in a weak attempt to be humorous, "Who would miss me anyway?" And before Axel could say he would (because Roxas knew he would), the blonde continued with, "Nobodies don't have hearts, Axel. We're smothered in darkness."

Axel sighed and turned away, and Roxas half-expected him to leave then and there. But he added a few more words for Roxas to ponder on before he left, question unanswered and tugging at what consciousness Roxas had left painfully. "Why do you shine with light then?"

Roxas shined with light because he had been leeching it off his older brother for years, and with the regaining of his memories he had also gained control over it. Sora hadn't been the sun but the stars, burning – yes – but never in the same way as Axel. He hadn't melted Roxas's icy self like the blonde originally thought – rather, he had given it radiance and made it shine like a thousand burning silver suns.

Sora had been his light, and now that light was gone. Too many days after the brunet was killed, Roxas fell into darkness. Some might have speculated later on that it was also the day insanity came knowing. No, that came with New Year's Resolutions – a sense of calm came on his birthday. Hidden and blind in the shadows of the darkest day, Roxas celebrated the birth of the passing sun.

He also celebrated the decision to ignite the last wishes of that sun in a glorious, continuous fire that burned for eternity. Why just wash your hands with blood? Better to shower in the water and enjoy a whole coat of crimson skin wrapped around moon-lit muscle and bones and marrow. Roxas felt hungry, that night.

_Happy Birthday – to you…_

* * *

**Perfect Image**: I don't really have anything to say on this one. The tragedy happened, and the stage has finally been set – with all the pieces set up and positioned correctly, it's time to take the crown. Did I mention that I fully expect you all to hit with stuff because of how I resolved the problem that was Sora and Roxas?

A day late, and it's shorter than I would have liked it to be, but I felt it better to stop there. Yes, Roxas is fucked up. No, Sora won't magically revive. In the next chapters it will become somewhat dark, but in the end all will be concluded with a somewhat mundane finish. Of course, I consider people dying mundane. I also consider drugs and rape mundane simply because they all classify as day-to-day activities. Everyone dies, some do drugs, and others commit malicious raping. The world's a brutal place, kids.

**Disclaimer:** The characters from Square Enix are not mine and I do not claim them as mine. The story and concept are mine, however, so if someone wishes to write a story (or create an RPG) based upon the setting I've developed, please remember to credit me.


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